Im still here, you know, I whispered, tears choking my voice. I didnt mean to lead you on, he pleaded. Please forgive me, I beg you! I swear Ill never talk to her again. If you want, Ill change my job. Shall we leave together? Just dont abandon me
***
September greeted Eleanor with a crisp yet gentle sun. Yellow leaves swirled around her feet, and the scent of damp earth hinted at the approaching autumn. She hurriedly packed suitcases. Ahead lay a long journey to the Yorkshire Dales, where her mother, suddenly stricken, waited.
At first it seemed a simple cold, but a deep unease settled in Eleanors chest, growing day by day. Doctors delivered a shocking diagnosis that hit her like a cold shower. Her husband, Charles, remained at home, unable to accompany her. Eleanor had to make the only sensible choice: take her son, Tommy, and fly straight to her mother. Thus began their harsh, exhausting battle against time.
The first three months blurred into endless doctor visits, lab tests, and frantic searches for a competent physician. Whenever a free window appeared, Eleanor returned home, yet a lingering feeling told her something had changed. The house was still clean and cosy, Charles still tended the garden, but her thoughts were firmly lodged in Yorkshire. The home wasnt abandonedCharles tried to keep everything as it had always beenbut Eleanors focus had shifted.
Just as her mother began to stabilise, Eleanor was forced to pack again. Tommy, a bit weary from flights and hospital corridors but obedient, travelled with her. More planes, more doctors, and hope that flared then dimmed. By March there was a slight reprieve: her mother improved a little, and Eleanor allowed herself a brief twoweek break back in London.
During that quiet spell, a stubborn truth emerged like a weed. Tommy complained that his phone had slipped into the bathtub. Eleanor recalled a lifehack she had read in a womens magazineplacing the device in a bowl of rice.
She retrieved the smartphone, switched it on, and the screen lit up with a new message. Charles was napping peacefully on the sofa.
Tommy, lookyour phone works, Eleanor said, handing him the device.
He lazily scrolled through the notifications and froze.
What is this? Eleanor leaned forward, noticing the change in his posture. Im falling in love with you more and more. What does that mean?
Charles sat up abruptly, trying to appear calm, though his hands trembled.
Darling, youve got it all wrong, he began hastily, its just a joke. A colleague at work was teasing me. Were just being silly
A joke? Eleanor crossed her arms, feeling a chill despite the warm apartment. Youre kidding?
Its nothing serious. We work together, thats all.
Are you sure? Because messages like that arent usually sent by just colleagues, she countered, studying his face for any hint of deceit.
Im absolutely sure. Youre letting mums illness get to you. Lets forget this and go for a walk. The suns out, we need fresh air.
His insistence to leave seemed a desperate attempt to change the subject. Exhausted after three months of relentless stress, Eleanor accepted his suggestion, attributing the whole episode to nerves and fatigue. They walked, but the uneasy calm lasted only a short while.
As soon as they returned, another message arrived from the same colleague, this time far more explicit. A sting of jealousy surged through Eleanor, but she chose to speak with Charles first, avoiding a scene.
Tommy, look at what she sent now. This isnt a joke.
Charles took the phone, his face turning pale.
It its a mistake. Ill tell her to stop.
Youll write to her? Or should I? Eleanors voice trembled.
Eleanor, I love only you. Theres no point making a fuss over nonsense.
Soon another plane took Eleanor back to Yorkshiremore doctors, more tests, more hospital rooms. Tommys presence remained the sole constant in the chaos. Her mothers condition eased a little, granting Eleanor another brief respite.
***
March came again. Her mothers health improved enough for Eleanor to attempt another return home, hoping to restore some balance. But balance eluded her. A quick glance at her messages that day left her unable to forget the words she had seen. She could not simply erase them.
She decided not to wait for another excuse and confronted Charles directly.
Charles, I need the truth. I cant keep living with vague explanations.
Ive already explained everything! It was just a poortimed joke. I dont understand why youre bringing it up again.
Because Im unsettled, Eleanor answered firmly.
Charles tensed.
Eleanor, why are you making this worse? Its already complicated enough
I spoke to your colleague, Eleanor said, her voice turning icy, and she reached out herself.
Charles froze.
She wrote she wrote, Yes, I love you. Yes, we were together. What will you say to that, Charles?
He remained silent, his face turning ashen.
Leave, Eleanors voice quivered with restrained emotion, pack your things and go.
No, he whispered, youre making a huge mistake! I never did anything with her. She imagined it, and you believed some lunatic!
I dont believe you! Eleanor snapped, pulling out her phone and showing him a screenshot of the conversation where the other woman confessed everything. Look! This is your joke!
Charles dropped his head. An interminable silence stretched. When he finally looked up, guilt and desperation flickered in his eyes.
Alright. I slipped. I love only you, Eleanor. Its true.
Slip? Eleanor laughed bitterly, three years of lies in my face! How can you disrespect a person like that?
Its not a lie, I really love you! I just wasnt there as often as I should have been
Not there? Thats cowardice! she shouted, stepping back. Youre a coward!
But I didnt leave you, Eleanor, I didnt abandon you! he pleaded, reaching for her hand. Were together
Eleanor withdrew her hand. She no longer cared whether he stayed or left; the pain he caused eclipsed everything else.
You didnt abandon me? she asked, bitterly. You were torn, but you never left
I couldnt! I love you!
Love? Eleanor shook her head, you didnt stay because it was convenient, not because you loved me. Im done analysing your motives. I have to go. Mums getting worse.
Another plane, another return to Yorkshire, more doctors, more hospitals. Now Eleanor carried not only her mothers illness but also the weight of her husbands betrayal.
***
Her mother passed away in August. By New Years Eve Eleanor existed in a fog, mechanically performing daily tasks. The home that once felt like a fortress now seemed foreign. Tommy was her anchor, the only reason she didnt dissolve into endless grey.
When the first months of despair faded, she began to wake up, yet she never fully recovered. Every glance at Charles burned. She could not look at him, hear his voice, see his face. Still, she held on for Tommy, who seemed to sense her turmoil.
Charles, finally grasping the depth of his wrongdoing, tried to mend things. He stayed close, offered help, begged for forgiveness, and pleaded for a fresh start.
Please, Eleanor, lets try again. I made a terrible mistake. I know I didnt go anywhere when you left for your mum. Isnt that proof of my love?
Her mind replayed the messages she had stumbled upon while cleaning her phone. The words she had missed in the heat of desperation now resurfaced with stark clarity:
Youre everything to me, he had typed to his lover.
And Ive told your wife everything, right? she remembered her lovers reply. Someone had to push her. Any woman would have left, but you a rag!
Eleanor watched Tommy building a model in the corner, his concentration mirroring her own as a child. He didnt deserve a home clouded by his fathers lies.
Charles entered with two mugs of tea.
Here, a hot herbal blend. Please, have some.
Eleanor took the mug but didnt sip.
I cant, Charles
We agreedtime heals. Give us time. Ill do anything to earn your forgiveness.
Time? she smiled bitterly, time showed me how masterfully you can lie. You stayed because leaving became inconvenient, not because I was your love. Her messages prove it.
It was stupid of her! I told her it was over!
You didnt forbid her, Charles. You simply chose the convenient story for me at that moment, so I wouldnt collapse.
Eleanor inhaled deeply.
I cant forgive you now. Maybe never. But I have to live. Tommy has to live. Well live apart. Ill send him to his aunt for a couple of weeks and stay with a friend while I figure out what I want.
Charles turned pale, understanding that this was not a pause but a genuine chance to lose everything.
Eleanor, dont do this. Please. Ill see a therapist, quit my jobanything. Just dont leave.
Im not leaving you, Charles. Im leaving the lies. I cant love you while you live in deception. Well talk when I return, if I ever return
***
Eleanor never returned. For two months the couple lived separately, then she made the final decision: she would not keep the family together, not even for Tommy. Charles changed jobs and cut off contact with his lover, yet Eleanor realised that the young woman would forever linger in his and her memory, a fact she could never fully accept.
In the end, Eleanor learned that trusting ones own truth and protecting ones dignity outweighs clinging to a relationship built on betrayal. The hardest journeys often lead us back to ourselves, and only by honoring that inner compass can we find genuine peace.
