The melody of life, or a mayfly
Lily has been known as Lil for her whole life. Shes short, with a tiny waist, bright green eyes and a laugh that catches everyones attention. Men of all ages are drawn to petite women. Little ponies make the sweetest foals, they say, and they want to protect, pamper and carry them.
Lil also has a giftshe sings with a rich mezzosoprano voice. She sings whenever she can. By day she works as a lab technician at a manufacturing plant, but singing is her true element. She joins every choir she can find, gradually moving from shy appearances on stage to bolder performances. Her soul thirsts for art.
Lil never rushes into marriage, and children never cross her mind. She feels selfsufficient; a husband and kids would steal the time she needs for singing and enjoying life. She shares these thoughts with her married friends, who nod sympathetically while shuffling off to maternity leave.
She plans to devote herself entirely to singing, but fate has other plans. At the plant she meets the workshop supervisor, Andrew, to whom she regularly delivers lab reports. The office door is always guarded by the secretary, Zoe, who fiercely protects her bosss space. When Lil enters the office, Zoe snatches the reports, thanks her and says, Miss, youre free. Ill pass everything to Mr. Andrew. Dont worry. Thus Lil never actually meets the supervisor.
One day Zoe falls ill. Lil, seeing no barrier, knocks on the office door and peeks in. At the end of a long table sits Andrew himself.
Come in, miss. What do you have? he asks.
Just the sample reports, Lil replies, a little flustered.
Are you new here? Andrew presses.
No, Ive been here for over five years, Lil answers.
He smiles, I hadnt noticed. Too bad. They chat, laugh, and Lil returns to her station. From then on she places the reports directly on Andrews desk. When Zoe recovers, she watches Lil delivering the papers and deliberately turns away, busy watering the windowsill flowers and ignoring her.
Lil is twentyseven. A brief office romance blossoms; Andrew is respectable and not the kind of man who would become a gossipcolumn hero. He quickly suggests marriage. Lil, laughing, declinesshe doesnt want extra responsibilities. Andrew is surprised; most women would have chased after him. He pauses, giving her time to think.
Meanwhile, the other women at work pressure her: Heres a decent man! Why are you turning him down? Youll be alone forever! Eventually Lil yields. The wedding is a grand affair. In a bridal gown, veil and tiny shoes, she looks like a doll. Andrew is delighted; Lily, now his wife, allows herself to be loved but keeps her emotions for him muted, preserving her energy for performances.
After a harmonious honeymoon, Lily prepares for regional tourslocal resorts, schools, community halls. Andrew calmly lets her go, asking only, Could you make something for dinner and iron my shirt, please? Lily snaps, Dont hold me up, Tom, Im in a hurry! Andrew kisses her nose and says, Sorry, love, Im just pestering you. Go sing! He repeats this a few times, then starts buying readymade meals, learning to wash his own clothes, fry eggs and wash dishes. He doesnt want to burden Lily with his chores.
Time passes. Lily no longer works at the plant; she focuses on her voice and frequent regional gigs. Andrew, used to his wife being a creative spirit, rarely asks her to do housework. One day he asks his secretary for a coffee. Zoe, eager, offers baked pastriesI made them myself, with cherries. Andrew sighs, Thanks, Zoe. I love cherry pies. She then asks to sew a button onto his jacket, which is about to fall off. He replies, Zoe, my wife has no time for me; shes busy with her own work. Zoe mutters, Sure, wife sings, husband howls. She continues feeding Andrew with readymade soups, stews and, of course, cherry pies, subtly becoming his caretaker. He appreciates her kindness but remains faithful to Lily.
Four years into the marriage, the couple is still just the two of them. Lily never talks about children. One day she suddenly feels fuller, rounds out, and asks Andrew to stock up on pickled cucumbers and preserved applesan old sign that a stork might soon visit. Andrew is overjoyed at the thought of a baby.
Lily, however, isnt thrilled. She visits a doctor to avoid the unwanted burden, but the doctor says its too late and wishes her a healthy child. Andrew knows nothing of this. He runs to shops, checking prices for the best pram and cot. Lily resigns herself to the unexpected diagnosis. Andrew shares the news with Zoe, who, still seeing Lily as a friend, sighs and submits her resignation.
When Andrew asks, Zoe, whats happening? Youre leaving? she jokes, My cherries are gone, no more pies. A new secretary, Tanya, an older woman whos been on the plants payroll for decades, steps in. She scolds Andrew, Youve lost a good one, Andrew! Zoe loved you like no one else! He brushes her off, Work, Tanya, focus on the job.
Lily eventually gives birth to a girl. The midwife asks, What will we call her? Lily snaps, No name! Andrew rushes in with a bouquet, but Lily doesnt even look at him. She sits on the hospital bed, sobbing. The other mothers in the ward try to comfort her.
Whats wrong, love? they ask.
This child isnt for me, Lily says, eyes red. The other women exchange glances and start sharing their own dramassome claim babies from lovers, some talk of lost husbands, some recount thefts and oddities. Lily, turned toward the wall, overhears their chatter and thinks, If I listen, maybe Ill be the happiest of all, because everyone elses problems seem worse.
A nurse hands Lily a bunch of roses from Andrew, who is pacing, nervous, waiting outside. Lily doesnt take them; the nurse places them on the bedside table. The next day Andrew is sent on a twoweek work trip. He hurries home, eager to see his wife and daughter, imagining his little girl looking just like Lily. When he arrives, he finds only Lily, humming and flipping through sheet music.
Lily, wheres our daughter? he asks, bewildered.
Andrew, sit down. I signed the paperwork to give the child up, Lily replies, eyes downcast.
Signed? Youre insane! Thats our blood! How could you? Youre a mother! Andrew shouts, furious. He grabs the music sheets, tears them to shreds, crumples them in his hand and flings them at Lily.
Take your notes and go, you fool! he snarls. Lily has never seen her husband like this. She fears he might hurt her. Andrew, drained, grabs a large bag, tosses his coat inside, slams the door and walks out, not knowing where to go. The world feels black. She recalls her mothers words: A bad wife is worse than rain; rain keeps you inside, a bad wife drives you out. Andrew wanders the city, shouting, Where has love gone? Someone help! but strangers hurry past.
After sleeping at a friends house, Andrew returns to work and asks the new secretary, Tara, could you give me Zoes number? I need to call her for business. She hands him a slip, thinking, Probably quarreled with his wife. He locks his office door, aware of the secretarys curiosity.
When Lily finally calms down from Andrews outburst, she chooses not to chase him but to dive back into her singing. She goes to a holiday resort where a concert is organised with her as the star. She feels free, like a bird. She repairs the torn sheet music, sings, and the audience cheers, demands encores, and throws flowers onto the stage. She tours the countryside, her fame growing.
Years pass. Lily stops performing and opens a vocal studio. She never earned a formal music degree, but her experience is enough to teach young talent. One day a colleague asks, Lily, a girl has been brought to me. She seems very talented. Can you audition her? Her father is with her. Lily agrees.
Soon a boy named Andrew walks in with two girls, about ten and twelve years old. He points the younger one to a chair, Sit, sweetheart. He approaches the older girl, and only then does he recognise Lilyhis former wife.
God, why did we end up with you as a tutor? he mutters, stunned.
Calm down, Tom. Lets hear your daughter, Lily says, a little embarrassed.
Andrew takes the younger girls hand and steps out. Lily begins the audition. The girls voice is strong, reminding Lily of herself as a childtiny, precise, laughing the same way. After the audition Lily asks, How old are you, dear?
Thirteen. My names Katie, the girl declares proudly.
You sing beautifully! You can go, and bring your dad to class, Lily tells her.
Andrew returns. Tom, you have a talented daughter. I can recommend a good tutor if Im not the right fit. Youre married, arent you? Hows life? Lily probes.
Married and happy. My wifes name is Zoe, my former secretary. We raise our daughter Katie together with my other child, Mary, Andrew says, beaming.
Your daughter Katie? The one I gave birth to? Lily stammers.
You just gave birth to her, Andrew replies, then hurries away. Goodbye, tutor!
From the hallway a voice calls, Girls, lets go meet mum from work! Lily sits, her mind a jumble. She just spoke to her own daughter.
Thirteen years have slipped by since Lily signed away that child. Katie now calls another woman mum. Lily feels the weight of her choices. After work, she trudges home; before she can get inside, her beloved cat, Maestro, darts at her feet, purring. He knows shell bring him a treat soon.
Lily pushes Maestro away, Not now! He scurries to his bowl, demanding food. She sighs, What do I have? A cat that cant console me, no husband, no children, an empty flat and a cold bed. I must have hit the wrong notes in my life.
She wishes she could turn back time, but summer only comes twice a year. Lily runs through the melody of her entire life, note by note, and the tune is sorrowful. Apart from the castles in the air she built and her imperfect past, theres nothing else. Sitting in her armchair, wrapped in a cherished blanket, she reflects on the old fable of the grasshopper: Did you sing all summer? Thats the trouble.
