You really have no conscience, my Mum chided. Cant you see how badly Mark is getting on? Hes your brother, you could have helped him. All you ever think about is yourself.
A few weeks ago Mum rang and asked me to swing by and collect every last thing Id left in her flat.
Your stuff is practically blocking the hallway, she said.
The call came right after I turned down Marks request for cash to cover the deposit on a new flat. I wasnt lending I was being asked to give, because I know full well hed never pay me back.
When I said no, Mark stormed out of my flat fuming. He was convinced Id just hand over all my savings because he has a wife and kids, whereas I dont.
I need to vent, because my familys treatment feels downright unfair, especially with the holidays looming.
When I moved to Leeds for university, I promptly picked up a parttime gig.
At first I lived in halls, then I rented a little flat with a friend. I didnt want to lean on my parents, so I made sure I could foot my own bills and still send a little help to Mum.
Mum never took money directly; instead she kept nagging me to bring back useful bits a new coat, a pair of shoes, a kitchen gadget. Every time I visited, Id show up with bags of groceries.
Mum lives in a threebedroom flat with Mark. Our dad passed away three years ago.
Mark never cared much for education. After school he headed off to work in the Netherlands, and the only thing he managed to buy there was a clappedout car. Back in England he became a taxi driver.
Later he married and moved into Mums flat with his wife, Poppy.
Money has always been a tightrope for them. Mark lives daytoday; the moment his paycheck lands, it disappears.
Mum and Poppys parents used to bail them out regularly. Mark got used to the safety net and never bothered to earn extra or improve his finances.
Now Mark and Poppy have two kids, with a third on the way.
Theyve decided Mums flat is too cramped and have started looking at buying a place of their own.
I, on the other hand, share a rented flat with my partner, James. Were planning to tie the knot, but have postponed the wedding until the money and the timing feel right. James works as a software engineer, and I run a few online stores.
Were not frivolous spenders; were squirreling away cash for a house of our own so we can live independently after the wedding.
Mum knew about our plans, yet she still hinted to Mark that he could ask me for a hand.
They want a flat but cant scrape together a deposit, Mum told me.
When Mark showed up and asked outright for cash, I said no.
He went ballistic, thinking I owed him something just because hes got a family and I dont.
Later Mum called again, sounding indignant:
You really have no conscience. Cant you see how hard Mark is struggling? Hes your brother, you should have helped. You only ever think of yourself.
She added, Come collect your things from our flat. We cant even move around because of your mess. And dont even think about showing up for Christmas Marks angry, and Im not eager to see you either.
I didnt argue. Ill gather my stuff and stash it in our rental. When James and I finally buy our own house, Ill give them a room.
I could have lent Mark the money, but I know hed never repay it. He didnt even ask for a loan he just expected me to hand over all my savings because he has kids.
Just because hes got children
What would you have done in a situation like this?
