You really have no sense at all, my mother snapped. Cant you see how badly Michaels struggling? Hes your brother you could have helped him. All you ever think about is yourself.
A few weeks ago she called me, asking me to collect all my things from her flat.
We can barely get around the place because of your stuff, she said.
That call came after I turned down Michaels request for cash to put down a deposit on a house. I wasnt offering a loan I knew hed never pay it back.
When I said no, Michael stormed out of my flat, furious. He seemed convinced Id simply hand over my savings because he has a family and children, whereas I dont.
I need to get this off my chest: my familys treatment of me feels downright unfair, especially as the holidays draw near.
When I moved to Manchester for university, I immediately took a parttime job.
At first I lived in student halls, then I rented a flat with a friend. I didnt want to rely on my parents, so I made ends meet and helped my mum at the same time.
She never accepted money straight away; instead shed always ask me to bring back useful things clothes, shoes, household items. And whenever I visited, Id come back with bags full of groceries.
Mum lives in a threebedroom flat with Michael. Our dad passed away three years ago.
Michael never cared much for education. After finishing school he went to work in the Netherlands, and the only thing he managed to buy there was an old car. Back in the UK he became a taxi driver.
Later he married Claire and moved into Mums flat with her.
Money has always been tight for them; Michael lives day to day. As soon as they get their wages they spend them straight away.
Mum and Claires parents regularly chipped in financially. Michael got used to having someone always there to bail him out, so he never bothered to earn more or improve his situation.
Now Michael and Claire have two kids, with a third on the way.
Theyve decided Mums flat is too small and have started looking at buying their own place.
I live with my partner, Thomas, in a rented flat. We plan to get married, but weve postponed the wedding until the timing is right. Our incomes are steady Thomas works as an IT engineer, and I run a few online shops.
Were careful with our spending and saving, aiming to buy our own home so we can live independently after the wedding.
Mum knew about our plans, yet she hinted to Michael that he could ask me for help.
They want to buy a house but dont have a deposit, Mum told me.
When Michael came over and told me outright he needed money, I said no.
He was livid, thinking I owed him simply because he has a family and I dont.
Later Mum called again, shouting:
You really have no conscience. Cant you see how hard it is for Michael? Hes your brother you could have helped. You only think about yourself.
She added:
Come collect your things from our flat. We cant move around because of your mess. And dont even think about coming for Christmas. Michaels angry with you, and I dont want to see you either.
I didnt argue. Ill gather my stuff and store it in our rented flat. When Thomas and I finally buy our house, Ill put it there.
I could have lent Michael the money, but I know hed never repay it. He never even asked for a loan he just expected me to hand over all my savings because he has children.
What would you have done in my place?
