You really have no conscience. Cant you see how hard Matthew is having it? Hes your brother; you could have helped him. All you ever think about is yourself.
My mum just called and asked me to collect all my things from her flat.
We can barely get around here because of your stuff, she says.
This conversation comes right after I refuse to give my brother, Matthew, any money for the deposit on a flat. Im not lending; Im giving, because I know he would never pay me back.
When I turn him down, Matthew storms out of my flat, furious. He assumes Ill hand over all my savings just because he has a family and kids, while I dont.
I need to talk about it because my family treats me unfairly, especially with the holidays coming.
When I move to Manchester for my studies, I start a parttime job straight away.
At first I live in university halls, then I rent a flat with a friend. I dont want to rely on my parents, so I make sure I can cover my own bills and also help my mum.
She never accepts cash directly, but she always asks me to bring useful things: clothes, shoes, household items.
And whenever I visit her, I arrive with bags full of groceries.
Mum lives in a threebedroom flat with Matthew. Our dad passed away three years ago.
Matthew never cared about education. After school he goes to work in Scotland, and the only thing he manages to buy during that time is an old car. Back in England he starts driving a taxi.
Later he marries and moves into Mums flat with his wife, Poppy.
They always have money problems because Matthew lives day to day. As soon as their wages hit the bank, they spend it straight away.
Mum and Poppys parents regularly give them cash. Matthew knows there will always be someone to prop him up, so he never tries to earn more or improve his finances.
Now Matthew and Poppy have two children, and a third is on the way.
They decide Mums flat is getting too cramped and start looking at buying their own place.
I live with my partner, Thomas, in a rented flat. Were planning to marry, but we postpone the wedding until the timing is right. Our incomes are steadyThomas works as a software engineer, and I run several online stores.
We dont splurge on unnecessary things and we save for our own house so we can live independently after we tie the knot.
Mum knows about our plans, yet she still hints to Matthew that he can ask me for help.
They want to buy a flat but they have no money for the deposit, Mum tells me.
When Matthew comes over and asks me directly for cash, I say no.
Hes livid. He thinks I owe him simply because he has a family and I dont.
Later Mum calls again and says:
You really have no conscience. Cant you see how hard Matthew is having it? Hes your brother; you could have helped. You only think about yourself.
She adds:
Come collect your things from our flat. We cant get around because of your mess. And dont even think about coming for Christmas. Matthew is angry with you, and I dont want to see you either.
I dont argue. Ill take my belongings and store them in our rented flat. When Thomas and I finally buy our own house, Ill put them there.
I could have lent Matthew money, but I know he would never repay it. He never even asked for a loanhe just expected me to hand over all my savings because he has children.
How would you react in a situation like this?
