You really have no conscience. Cant you see how badly Michael is doing? Hes your brotheryou could have helped him. All you ever think about is yourself.
My mother called me recently and asked me to collect all my belongings from her flat.
There’s hardly any room left to move around because of your stuff, she said.
The call came after I refused to give my brother Michael money for the deposit on a new flat. I wasnt offering a loanI knew he would never pay it back.
When I said no, Michael stormed out of my flat, convinced that I would simply hand over all my savings because he has a family and children, whereas I have none. I needed to vent because I feel my family has treated me unfairly, especially with the holidays coming.
When I moved to Leeds for university, I immediately took a parttime job. At first I lived in halls of residence, then I rented a flat with a friend. I didnt want to rely on my parents, so I made ends meet and also supported my mother. She never accepted cash directly; she always asked me to bring useful thingsclothes, shoes, household items. Every time I visited, I arrived with bags full of groceries.
Mother now lives in a threebedroom flat with Michael. Our father passed away three years ago. Michael never cared for education. After school he went to work in the Netherlands and only managed to buy an old car. Back in the UK he became a taxi driver.
Later he married and moved into Mothers flat with his wife Claire. Money has always been tight for them because Michael lives paycheck to paycheck. As soon as their salary arrives, its spent. Mother and Claires parents regularly bail them out financially. Knowing help will always be there, Michael never tries to earn more or improve his situation.
Today Michael and Claire have two children, with a third on the way. They decided the flat was too small and began looking for a house of their own.
I live with my partner James in a rented flat. We plan to marry, but have postponed the wedding until the timing is right. Our incomes are stableJames works as a software engineer, and I run several online stores. We avoid unnecessary spending and are saving for our own home so we can live independently after we marry.
Mother knew about our plans, yet she hinted to Michael that he could ask me for help.
They want to buy a house but have no money for a deposit, Mother told me.
When Michael came to me and demanded cash, I refused. He was livid, believing I owed him because he has a family and I do not.
Later Mother called again:
You really have no conscience. Cant you see how hard Michael is struggling? Hes your brotheryou could have helped. All you ever think about is yourself.
She added:
Come collect your things from our flat. We cant move around because of your mess. And dont even come for Christmas. Michael is angry with you, and I dont want to see you either.
I didnt argue. Ill take my belongings and store them in our rented flat, and when James and I finally buy our own house, Ill put them there.
I could have lent Michael money, but I know he would never repay it. He never even asked for a loanhe simply expected me to give him all my savings because he has children.
What would you have done in my place?
Sometimes love means setting firm boundaries; protecting your own future isnt selfish, its essential for both you and those you care about.
