Do you really think he wants to come back? Emily asked, clearly missing the point of what her brother Alex was trying to explain. Weve been strangers for almost fifteen years since the divorce.
Its true, Alex admitted, searching for the right words. I get that people make mistakes when theyre young, but theres nothing left to share now.
Whats left for us, then? their mother, Margaret, interjected, not understanding. You and Daisy are adults with your own families. You decide who to keep in touch with, not me.
Dad just knew you wouldnt want to hear him, so he asked Daisy and me to pass a message along, Alex said defensively. It would have been easier for Daisy and me if we knew you were living together and supporting each other.
Before Margaret could collect her thoughts, her daughter called, dragging the same painful subject into the conversation.
Mum, you have to understandhes our father, and hes ill now, her daughter pleaded.
While he was young and full of vigor, he never thought of me at all. Now he suddenly wants to change everything, Margaret tried not to let her nerves show. Perhaps youve forgotten that he abandoned me and you for another woman years ago!
But theyve long since split, and it would be nice for you two to live together as you both get older, Daisy pushed, staying firm.
The talk left Margaret heavyhearted. She had given everything to the children, never tried to rebuild her own life after the split for fear of hurting them, both of whom had been scarred by their parents breakup during their teenage years. Now it seemed they spoke different languages and barely heard each other. A memory of Andrews departure resurfaced, making everything worse.
I dont love you any more, he had said then, averting his eyes. Ive found someone else, and I intend to spend the rest of my days with her.
What about the kids? she had asked, voice trembling.
Youll carry on as before, just without me, he replied. The house stays with you; Ill see the children when I can and chip in financially, but I no longer love you.
Did you ever consider how theyd take your leaving at this age? Margaret could not believe it.
Theyll cope. Let them learn the realities of adult life. Its not right to live without love, sorry, he said, closing the conversation.
Andrew kept his word; he never claimed the house in the divorce and stayed with his new partner. He met the children only on neutral ground, too shy to step into the family home, while his new wife never invited them over. Margaret tried once to explain the reasons for the split to her son and daughter, but they werent interested in details.
Our father told us it was his decision and asked us to respect it, Alex said, now a grown man. Its tough with Daisy, but eventually things will settle.
For Margaret nothing settled. She missed her husband, wept into her pillow at night, and turned down friends suggestions to set her up with another man. He only reminded her of himself when he called the children.
Were planning a holiday, and I left my fishing tackle on the loft shelf, he said over the phone one day. Can I pick them up on Saturday? I wanted the kids to bring them, but they didnt understand where they were.
Alright, come over, Margaret answered as calmly as she could.
She spent the days leading up to that Saturday replaying the conversation in her head, planning to show her ex that she could thrive without him, even thinking of meeting him at the parade. Then she decided it would look foolish and backed down.
Youve lost weight, she remarked, watching Andrew pack his boxes. Is your new wife not feeding you?
He does, I just work a lot, he muttered, unwilling to discuss his new life.
If you need, I can cook for you or send her my favourite recipes, she said, aware she was being silly but unable to stop herself.
Your sarcasm isnt charming, Margaret, Andrew replied, weary. Were strangers now. Well always share the children, later the grandchildren, and thats it.
Are you sure about that? she asked, a flicker of hope in her voice.
Yes, he said firmly.
He left for his new wife, and Margaret sat alone in the kitchen, tears of selfpity soaking her cheeks. Over the year after the divorce she had lost a lot of weight, then forced herself to pull together. She put on a brave face while secretly hoping Andrew would have a change of heart and return. She knew people would judge, but she was prepared to take him back and forget the past.
Dad and his woman split, her children told her three years later. Hes moved into a flat in a shared house.
The news oddly revived a glimmer of hope that Andrew might come back. Margaret started dressing sharply, looked after herself, and waited for his first move. Her friends thought shed finally sorted her love life, but they didnt push for details, so she brushed them off with jokes. She waited, Andrew didnt return, and eventually he paired up with another woman. He even attended his sons wedding, but he turned up alone to Daisys ceremony.
Why alone? Margaret asked.
Irina was on a business trip, couldnt make it, but she sent her congratulations, he replied calmly.
Time passed, and Margaret began to see things differently. She stopped waiting, found solace in her work, bought a country cottage, and filled her free time with friends, family, flowers, and even a stray cat she rescued. The children had their own lives, and she kept busy as best she could. Everything seemed settled until a sudden conversation with the kids shook her again. She spent a few days worrying over what to do, until she spotted Andrew outside the block, returning from work.
I thought we should leave the bad things behind, he said, sitting at her kitchen table with a mug of tea. Most of our lives are behind us, the negativity has grown like weeds, and its not worth revisiting. Lets finish whats left together and raise the grandchildren.
Honestly, why did you decide to come back to our flat instead of staying with any of your new partners? Margaret asked, no longer pretending to be pleased.
My health isnt what it used to be; Im retiring next year, he answered truthfully. I realised our children are good people; they wont abandon you even in old age.
You remember telling me we were strangers? she asked, looking straight into his eyes. I didnt understand it then, but now I fully agree.
So you wont take me back? he asked.
Dont worry, you said the kids were good and they wont desert you, Margaret replied. You crossed me off your life years ago; let it stay that way.
Andrew left again, and Margaret settled back into her favourite armchair. She switched her phone off, knowing he would soon call the children, and they would launch into their usual probing questions. All she wanted was quiet and peace. She had waited for his return for so long that the hope finally burnt out. Had he spoken of growing old together, perhaps she would have taken him back, but his only concern now was his own comfort. She had her children, her friends, the cottage, and the catenough for her now.
