So you dont need much, do you? I asked, trying not to sound smug. Im scrimping every penny, hopping from one odd job to another, and youre planning a restaurant dinner for your birthday? Isnt that a bit indulgent?
Lena, its a milestone. It should be a proper celebration. Turning thirty isnt an everyday thing, Daniel replied, his tone defensive.
What about the month before? Was that just a dressup party? I celebrated at home, and I didnt break the bank, I muttered, crossing my arms.
Lena stared at Daniel with a hard look, her hands clenched at her sides. She was furious, not only because his wish would cost them a hundred thousand rubles now about £1,400 but because she felt reduced to a servant or a penniless relative.
Daniel only confirmed her suspicion.
You once said you didnt need a lot! he reminded her.
She froze, eyebrows arching. Yes, she had said that, but not from a place of comfort.
Exactly, Lena said slowly. I told you I could do without a new dress, bake the cake myself, do my own nails. Because I want to move into my own flat, Daniel, not because I enjoy being poor.
He pursed his lips, clearly uninterested in digging deeper. He behaved like a petulant teenager: I want it, thats it. Everything else can go to hell.
Youre only twentyeight, youve got your whole life ahead. Im hitting a round number and I want it to be a real celebration, not just a couchpotato evening, he retorted.
Lena lowered her gaze. A couchpotato evening thats exactly what it was.
She recalled the week shed spent planning the menu for her birthday, scouring flyers for discounted veg a few wilted but still usable hunting promo codes, comparing shop prices. She baked a cake from an online recipe, using sour cream and condensed milk, not because she loved cooking but because it was cheaper.
Despite the tight budget, the party succeeded. Guests praised the salads, devoured the homemade pizza, and she smiled in her old dress with cheap clear nail polish.
The cash gifts almost covered the costs. She pretended to be satisfied, but later, alone in the bathroom, tears fell sorrow for herself, fatigue from constantly having to scrape together a dress, a hairstyle, a family celebration.
In the three years shed lived with Daniel, frugality had become her second name. She knew how to squeeze extra cashback on bread, bought cheap processed cheese instead of proper cheddar, and could spot a genuine discount from a fake one.
Clothes? As long as they were clean and unripped, she didnt care about looks, images or brands. Those were luxuries for someone hunting the cheapest toothpaste, not for someone desperate to save for her own place.
Having your own flat is important, Daniel agreed. Then you wont be pushed out on a whim, and you wont have to spend half your salary on rent.
His contribution to the household budget was limited to his salary transfer. That was already a decent amount, but the idea of separate accounts terrified Lena, as did stories of women who had to scrape together money for maternity leave. Daniel treated finances like a teenager ready to blow everything on chips and fizzy drinks.
It was no surprise Lena was the one calculating utilities, transport, groceries. She trimmed expenses to stash a planned sum, booked haircuts with trainee stylists to stay within the limit. Sometimes it went badly, but it stayed cheap.
They moved toward their goal, but it felt as if they were walking sidebyside rather than handinhand. Lena never complained to Daniel about the effort, kept silent when he ordered pizza for lunch just because he was too lazy to go to the canteen and wanted a treat.
You know, Daniel I really dont need much, Lena finally said, averting her eyes. Just a bit of genuine respect. I dont enjoy pinching pennies, but I do it for our future. Sometimes it feels like we have no future at all.
I work, I bring money home. What else do you want? Do I not have the right to a celebration? he snapped, then, seeing she wasnt backing down, retreated to the bedroom. Lena stayed in her cheap bathrobe under the dim chandelier, thoughts of a mortgage she couldnt quite reach swirling around her.
Her heart throbbed with doubt. Was she being overly dramatic? Was Daniel right?
The next day she met her friend Rachel for tea. I see you didnt come over just to admire the linoleum patterns, Rachel said, noticing Lenas gloom. Whats wrong?
Lena sighed and recounted the previous night. She explained how hurt she felt when a shared dream was funded by only one partner, and how Daniel seemed to put his own milestone above hers.
Youre clever, Lena, Rachel smiled after she finished. So youre saving on yourself and expect him to carry you on his shoulders?
Were saving Lena began.
Exactly. You save, he spends. Does he ever deny himself anything? Does he ever thank you for your sacrifice? Rachel pressed.
Lena shrugged. Her husband wasnt ungrateful; he just believed thats how things should be, that domestic magic would sort itself out.
Does he understand how expensive it is to be a woman? Manicures, pedicures, hair, waxing, decent lingerie not grannys knickers, Rachel continued. Are you his wife or just the convenient mum in a threadbare robe who does all the counting and organising?
Lena tried to protest, but Rachel wasnt finished.
Ill tell you why hes so eager to splurge on a restaurant. He knows youll bend over backwards. Youll wear out your shoes, stop dyeing your hair with cheap dye, but youll still give in. And hell feel like a king because the anniversary is at a restaurant.
What am I supposed to do? Lena asked, flustered.
Stop being a pushover and find a lover with a flat. That would solve everything, Rachel joked, then softened. Alright, thats a backup plan. Stop skimping on yourself. He wants a restaurant? Fine, let him. But you need a dress, shoes, a proper bag, a good hairstyle and gold earrings to match. If youre going out, dont show up in a tracksuit with stretchedout knees.
The dress is simple enough. I just need to fit into my graduation gown
Lena, are you even hearing me? Stop saving on yourself!
Lena exhaled. It was a hard shift, but she knew Rachel had a point.
Fine. Ill give it a try she agreed.
That morning she told Daniel she needed to book a salon appointment manicure, haircut, styling. He was surprised but shrugged.
Later she showed him a pair of shoes shed liked.
Look, these black ones are versatile. Theyll go with almost any dress, and you can wear them again, she said.
Eight thousand pounds? Lena, I could upgrade the whole computer for that! Daniel exclaimed.
What can I do? Its my birthday, I have to look presentable. The restaurant is a must. As for the dress Ive already spotted a boutique. Take me there and well pick one together, she replied.
He grunted but didnt argue, perhaps hoping shed change her mind. By evening she was already eyeing earrings.
How about these? Theyre lovely and cheap only twenty thousand pounds. Others of the same weight cost thirty. Ill need a clutch to match, but that can wait until after the dress.
Daniel, eyes wide, started doing quick mental maths, swallowed nervously, turned pale and muttered, Maybe we skip the restaurant we could just stay home.
Lena only gave a small smile. In the end they agreed on a quiet family celebration. Did they make up? Not entirely. Did Daniel understand anything? Perhaps a little. But Lena walked away with a clear realization: until she respects herself, no one else will.
