Hey love, listen upIve got to tell you whats been happening with Sam and me. Its a mess, but Ill walk you through it.
Sams been staring at the floor, refusing to look at me. Were going to have to sell the flat and the car, he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Those guys wont leave us alone. Its not just me who could get hurt you and Harriet could too. He tried to suggest calling the police, but he scoffed, What police? I owe them money, and the interest is piling up so fast I could just hang myself. Youll have to stay with my mum for now.
What about you? I asked.
I need to get out of here, he muttered. I wont be able to pay off the debts; the business is already gone. Im heading north where the rigs pay well. Maybe things will settle down there.
Id sensed this was coming when grimfaced men with obvious criminal records started showing up at our door and dragging Sam out for a word on the street. Hed come back looking lost, sometimes angry, and started snapping at Harriet over the tiniest things. Shes only four, after all shes not a trained dog you can scold.
Sams business was a mystery. He ran an online shop selling computer gear, but I never knew where the laptops and monitors came from. Most likely they were knockoffs that had to be pulled from the market now and then, forcing him into more debt to keep afloat. Hed managed to pull through a few times, but this time it went terribly wrong.
I grew up in a little village, so I could’ve just moved back with my parents if I wanted a modest flat. But I didnt want to quit my job Im the deputy head at an elite private school that specialises in English studies, and Im eyeing the headship. Mrs. Katherine, the current head, has already announced shell retire next year, so walking away now would be stupid.
Living with my motherinlaw never promised to be a dream either. From the start we clashed. First, I was the unwanted daughterinlaw because you can see the village for a mile around you. Then, after I graduated with top marks from university and started teaching at the English school, she called me a foreign fancy lady who shouldnt be cooking stew. Yet Sam loved my stew and always praised it, even if I barely had time for home cooking because my afterschool clubs ran until dusk.
Mrs. Katherine was delighted about the grandchild, but she wasnt exactly thrilled with me:
Good wives dont run off north, she said.
Its not me hes running from, its his creditors. Hes drowning in debt.
And where have you been looking? A good wife keeps the finances tight. Back then everything was called the household, now youre just a manager. You havent even managed a decent dinner for your daughter.
When I have time, I cook everything.
Why dont you have time? What kind of school keeps you until night? Ill have a look myself. Dont think you can replace me with a husband any more than you can replace a proper home.
She turned up at the school one evening for a surprise inspection. It only made things worse. The whole place was plastered with foreignlanguage signs thats one thing but there were cats wandering everywhere. Its unsanitary, its ridiculous! This is a school, not a zoo. Decent women wont work in such chaos. She also kept a lingering stare at me, as if she could see straight through me.
The tall bloke she was eyeing was David Smith, another English teacher. He seemed fond of me, but he never crossed any lines he knew I had a family.
The cats, it turned out, were part of a British educational method. They believed that being around animals made children kinder, so theyd let the Britishshorthair cats roam the classrooms, even hopping onto desks. They behaved well most of the time, though.
Sam would occasionally send emails about where hed ended up, but never in detail. Those emails were enough for the two shady types whod visited us a few times to start asking about his whereabouts. Then he vanished completely, stopped writing, and I started worrying that the creditors had finally tracked him down. My motherinlaw tried to stay optimistic:
If theyd found him, theyd have stopped bothering us.
So why did he go silent?
You dont see the whole picture. Hes a big name, he wont stay lonely for long
A year later, just before the school term ended, Sam wrote that hed met another woman and was now living with her. He didnt call it cheating because, technically, we never married. He said nothing about Harriet, as if she didnt exist. Mrs. Katherine immediately tried to justify it:
Looks like he knows Harriet isnt his.
How? She was born while he was here.
She was with him, not of him. It happens.
Oh, come on, Mum, stop this!
Im not your mother any more. I might be a granny to Harriet, but from now on Im just Elizabeth Marlowe to you or perhaps no one at all, which is even simpler.
We had to move out of my motherinlaws flat. I couldnt picture what to do next. Renting a place in the city is pricey, especially with a kid to raise. I could have scraped by, but why stay in a town where the only family left is a daughter I barely see? My own parents, hearing about my struggles, have been calling me back to the village, promising a teaching post there rural schools always need teachers.
Mrs. Katherine put a pause on her decision:
Dont get worked up, love. Im planning to keep the school running, and the boards fine with that.
But where will we live?
Ill speak to the board. Maybe theyll fund a rent allowance or give us a loan. In the meantime, you can stay at my cottage. The school years ending, its May, heating isnt needed. My husband and I only go there on weekends anyway. You can take a summer break and head to your parents.
David offered to help move our few belongings in his van. All we had left were some clothes and a handful of dishes. On the way, he asked:
Where will you stay in winter?
Katherine promised to sort something out.
Why sort? Ive got a spare onebed flat. I stay with my mum most days shes ill, and she cooks for me. You cant survive on canned soup and instant noodles forever.
Ill see what happens. I might head back to the village for good this summer.
What about our school? You were supposed to be matched with the headmistress
Ive been set up before. Schools are everywhere, love.
Harriet loved the cottage. The fresh air made her cheeks rosy and she seemed to thrive. She got on famously with Mrs. Katherine and even with Sams dad, and we all felt like one big family.
I think about my old life less and less now. It hurts, sure, but maybe its for the best. Sam would have left us anyway; he never wanted to register at the registry office.
The same David drove us back to the village with Harriet. We arrived late afternoon, unloaded, and David started to head back, but my motherinlaw stopped him:
Stay a bit, where will you go tonight? Ill bring fresh milk, lets have dinner.
I followed her, sighing:
Mum, youre really pushing David as my husband?
What else?
No, we have nothing going on, and theres no future for us.
But you can see the way he looks at you. Harriet could end up with him
From a distance I watched David laughing with Harriet, the two of them sharing a joke. Maybe something could happen after all.
And you know what? It felt warm and calm, like being back in childhood. I think Im finally starting to breathe again.
