Youll never earn love that way, I shook my head.
After twenty years of marriage do I still have to earn love? Felicity asked, a sly smile on her lips. How very interesting!
Youre a clever woman! I frowned. Isnt it obvious what I meant?
When a woman is told shes clever, Felicity replied, it usually means the opposite quality is being praised!
Youve got it wrong again! Your attempt at manipulation doesnt count! In this case youre the one at fault, not me! I snapped.
Ah, in the specific situation! she said, stretching the word. And what an interesting predicament we have!
Youre exhausted after work and need a break, and I, as a considerate wife, should not only stay out of your way but also bring dinner to the sofa?
Felicity, youre saying it as if Im a tyrant! I pressed my lips together. But as a sensible person, cant you see Im tired?
I understand youre tired, she nodded. But you can still get to the kitchen! Youre not an invalid or on your deathbed!
So youll only serve me food if Im literally lying on the floor? I retorted. Do you want me to become disabled, or, heaven forbid, something worse?
Less talk, more action, she replied, pointing toward the kitchen. Its right there.
Come on, Felicity! I whined. Dont you get it? Im a normal bloke, and Im knackered!
Stop trying to convince me, Stan! she raised her voice. Im worn out from work too, and I dont feel like ferrying trays back and forth.
And youll still ask me for salt, ketchup, sour cream, mayo, extra bread, or a garnish! All that stuff is in the kitchen. I get up, grab it, and Im happy.
Yes, I shook my head. With that attitude youll never earn my love! I trudged to the kitchen like a dying swan.
Actor! Felicity sniffed, settling more comfortably in the armchair.
She waited. She really waited. Anticipated. And she got what she wanted.
Felicity! Whats that? Stans shout echoed from the kitchen.
She didnt even think of getting up. Not a muscle twitched.
Felicity! I burst into the room. Whats that about?
A pot in the fridge, a plate on the drying rack, the microwave where it belongs, she said calmly.
You see! I hissed through clenched teeth. Thats nonsense!
For the record, she smiled sweetly, Im also exhausted from work. The conclusion?
I stared at my wife for a minute, cursed, then shuffled back to the kitchen.
It could have sparked a classic family blowup with tragic fallout, but the next day a visit to relatives was on the calendar.
Felicitys mother, Margaret, decided to gather the family, citing Its been ages since weve all been together!
The excuse was flimsy, rarely enough to summon everyone, and had been postponed dozens of times before.
Mrs. Margaret simply wanted the clan together for a chat, no special occasion.
So I thought Id complain to the motherinlaw about my wife.
Let the motherinlaw have a word with her daughter!
I could barely wait for the formalities to end and the sweets to appear before I blurted out:
I understand, Mrs. Margaret, but somethings not right with your daughter!
Things are heading toward the kind of paperwork that ends in divorce! You should have stepped in, because life throws all sorts of curveballs!
My God! Whats happened? Mrs. Margaret gasped, clutching her chest.
Yesterday I came home from work, exhausted beyond words! I bring home the money for the family, and this week was particularly grueling!
I was squeezed dry! I asked my wife to feed the provider, and she just pointed at the fridge without moving an inch!
Mrs. Margarets eyes widened bewilderment, outrage, despair, horror all at once.
Felicity met that stare calmly, almost detached.
I didnt mean to bring this up, Felicitys brother Colin interjected, but somethings off between us! Im a Sunday dad, you know my exAnna? No shame, no conscience!
I only get weekends off, maybe once a month! I live alone, pay child support, and Ive got no time to tidy! I asked Felicity for help, and she never refused because she knew where I was and what needed doing!
Then she pointed me at a broom, tossed a rag at my feet and told me not to be a slob!
Shes fallen ill, apparently, I said, trying to stay reasonable. I asked her to iron my shirt!
I was getting ready for a date and she handed me a tutorial video on how to iron a shirt!
Felicity listened to both complaints without a flicker of irritation.
And her mothers disapproval was no joke.
Felicity, what does that mean? Mrs. Margaret exclaimed, indignant. You were such a good girl, polite, kind! Im ashamed of you!
Im not ashamed of myself! Felicity answered firmly.
—
Even the sun has its spots. Patience, once a virtue, is now often seen in a negative light. People complain when someone shows patience, as if it were a flaw, while burning bridges at the slightest inconvenience is praised.
Nevertheless, dialogue is lauded when problems are solved with words, not with fists or charred bridges.
Delicacy was Felicitys nature. She was raised to see every person as a world of their own, and to impose your own measures on anothers soul is at best foolish, at worst disastrous.
To understand someone you must put yourself in their shoes, see through their eyes, think as they think, then only judge.
Following that rule, Felicity saw a friend who had stolen her boyfriend. It hurt first love and all that.
She first put herself in the boyfriends place:
He wanted more, I wasnt ready. Ksenia was not only ready, she wanted it too. If Kirill had been ten years older, hed have toned down his hormones. His actions made perfect sense.
Then she considered the friends angle:
She came from a large family, always short of cash, parents forcing her to mind the younger siblings.
Kirills parents were wealthy, he was an only child. To her he was a ticket out of a familial nightmare, a chance at a better life.
Thats just one example; there were many. She never gave up at the first hurdle, always trying to grasp what drove a persons actions.
She even managed to see why, at work, some colleagues set her up. She often proved herself right and restored fairness, but she never blamed the offender she merely found the cause. Any cause, unless its madness, has a legitimate claim and can justify behaviour.
To her husband, Felicity became a treasure, a priceless gem!
Stans many flaws were forgiven, relegated to harmless quirks. It wasnt perfect, but it worked, barely noticed.
Not every man knows how to compliment or court a lady, Felicity admitted. So should I scold him for not bringing flowers or opening doors? Id rather push my own chair at a restaurant than wait for him.
She applied the same leniency elsewhere.
She understood that Stan wasnt a tidy sort; his mother always handled the cleaning.
He couldnt cook, for the same reason.
He didnt know how to work a washing machine.
In short, he knew nothing of domestic chores. Felicity realised not every bloke is handy around the house.
Sure, she asked him to do things, explained, taught. But most of the time she did it herself.
She also accepted that Stan didnt display overt fatherly affection toward their son, Denis. Science backs that up: men usually start showing interest around the age of three, when they can actually interact. A wailing infant is a mystery they shy away from, even fear.
That explained why Stan got irked when Denis cried, or why Felicity spent more time with the boy than with her husband. Fear and jealousy, plain and simple.
When the marriage passed its tenyear mark, Felicity accepted that Stan had grown colder.
The habit stuck! Were not youths with raging hormones any more!
She also accepted his meetings with mates.
Workhome, homework. He too needs a change of scenery, a bit of excitement.
A strange thought crossed her mind: what if Stan ever took a lover? Could she ever understand? No answer was needed; Stan never looked left.
So life wasnt just about a single husband for Felicity.
Their son Denis followed his fathers footsteps. No matter how much Felicity taught him to help mum, his mind stayed glued to videogame battles. Thats where he and Stan finally connected.
Felicity realised her son saw his dad as a role model, which was only natural.
She also had a brother, Colin, younger than her, with a completely different temperament. He loved noise, drama, conflict, feeding off others energy. As a child Felicity often wept at his antics, later recognising his jealousy and need to control emotions.
His marriage was a brief sprint; his wifes strong personality clashed, leading to divorce. Their little daughter, Zoe, would never know a full family.
Colin became a Sunday dad, but like most men, he couldnt manage household chores another Stan in his own right.
Before taking Zoe for a weekend, Colin asked Felicity to tidy his flat and cook something decent, because he was happy with takeaway.
Zoes exwife only saw her father once a month, so Colins responsibilities were sporadic.
And then there was mother.
People say mum is sacred, and theyre right. When a mother asks for help, a child cant refuse. If it becomes extreme, refusal is permissible.
Mrs. Margaret never overstepped. She could clean and cook herself; she invited Felicity for company, not chores. Felicity gladly spent time chatting while Margaret cooked, and nothing ominous loomed.
But Felicity didnt just say no to everything. She explained why.
Im not ashamed, Im sad for myself, Felicity said. I was foolish to think I could accept all your flaws and behaviours.
The foolishness lay in me trying to cater to you, thinking youd think of me, love me, respect me, when I never saw it happen over the years.
The room fell silent. They were used to her silence, now she spoke.
Im not a girl anymore, she continued. Its too late to change everything, but from now on Ill only do what I want.
Want to feed the husband after work? Ill do it, set the table, wash the dishes. If I dont, Stan, you know where the fridge is!
Youre not five years old, you can feed yourself! That applies to Denis too youre seventeen now!
You can manage cooking, cleaning, ironing if you want a crisp shirt.
She turned to her brother:
If I want to see my niece, Ill come over and tidy up! If I dont feel like it, youll learn the job yourself, or hire a cleaner. Not me!
And you, dear mother, can welcome your daughter in a clean flat and serve something tasty, instead of forcing me to do everything!
Felicity saw the sour faces of her relatives and realised they didnt like what shed said. She didnt want to be everyones convenience any longer. She wanted to be convenient for herself.
Im going home, Felicity rose. If you dont like the new rules, I wont call anyone, and dont expect me to answer.
Her husband and son returned only for their belongings. Her brother stopped calling. Her mother phoned solely to accuse her of selfishness.
selfishness isnt just thinking of yourself, Felicity replied, its demanding everyone think of you first, then you think of yourself. Ponder that!
Maybe Felicity hadnt intended such a radical change, but life unfolded on its own. A new life for a new Felicity. A happy life, all because she said No.
