Youll never earn love that way, Stan shook his head.
Do I still need to earn love after twentyfive years of marriage? Emily asked, eyebrows raised. How intriguing!
Youre a clever woman, Stan frowned. Isnt it obvious what I meant?
When a woman is told shes clever, Emily replied, people usually mean the opposite!
And once again youve got it wrong! Your attempt at manipulation doesnt count! In this case youre the one whos mistaken, not me! Stan retorted.
Ah, the specifics! Emily continued. What an interesting situation we have!
So youre exhausted after work and need a break, and I, as an understanding wife, should not only stay out of your way but also bring dinner to the sofa?
Emily, you phrase it as if Im a tyrant! Stan pursed his lips. But, as a reasonable person, cant you see Im tired?
I do see youre tired, Emily nodded. You can still get to the kitchen; youre not crippled or on his deathbed!
So youll only bring me food if Im unable to walk? Stan snapped. Perhaps youd prefer I become an invalid, or, God forbid, something worse?
Less talk, more action, Emily said, pointing toward the kitchen. Its right there.
Come on, Emily! Stan whined. Dont you understand? Im a normal bloke, and Im exhausted!
Stan, stop trying to persuade me! Emily raised her voice. Im worn out from my job too, and I dont feel like ferrying trays back and forth.
Youll soon be asking me for salt, ketchup, sour cream, mayo, extra bread, or whatever else! she added, gesturing at the pantry. Its all within reach! Get up, grab it, and be happy!
Exactly, Stan shook his head. With that attitude youll never earn my love! He shuffled toward the kitchen like a swan about to collapse.
Actor! Emily huffed, settling more comfortably into the armchair.
She waited. She waited a long time, anticipating, and finally
Emily! What does that mean? Stans shout echoed from the kitchen.
Emily didnt even think of jumping up. Not a muscle twitched.
Emily! Stan burst into the room. Over there! Whats that?
The pot is in the fridge, the plate is on the drying rack, the microwave is in its place, Emily said calmly.
Well, you see! Stan muttered through clenched teeth. Thats a dead end!
Just so you know, Emily smiled sweetly, Im tired from work too. The point?
Stan stared at his wife for a minute, then muttered something and trudged back to the kitchen.
It could have sparked a fullblown family quarrel with tragic results, but the next day a visit was planned.
Emilys mother decided to gather the family, claiming, Its been ages since weve all met! The excuse was weak, and gatherings had been postponed countless times before.
Mrs. Margaret Whitaker simply wanted the family together, not for any particular reason, just to chat.
Stan resolved to complain to his motherinlaw.
Let her at least straighten her own daughter out!
Stan waited for the formal part of the gathering to end, when everyone moved on to dessert, then blurted out:
I understand, Mrs. Whitaker, but somethings off with your daughter!
Ill tell you what, the changes are heading toward a divorce! Youd have an impact, but life throws all sorts of things at us!
Lord! Whats happened? Mrs. Whitaker gasped, clutching her chest.
Yesterday I got home from work, exhausted beyond words! I earn all the money for the family, and the week was brutally stressful!
They squeezed me dry! Dry! I asked my wife to feed the provider, and she just pointed at the fridge and didnt move a muscle!
Mrs. Whitakers eyes widened with surprise, outrage, despair, and horror.
Emily met that stare calmly, almost detached.
I didnt want to say anything, Emilys brother Kevin interjected, but somethings not right with Emily! I go to Sunday fathers groups! You know my exgirlfriend Annano shame, no conscience!
Zina only sees me on weekends, and even then once a month! Im on my own, paying child support!
Clearly I have no time to clean! I asked Emily for help! She never refused before because she knew where I was and where the cleaning was needed!
Then she pointed at the broom, tossed a cloth under my feet, and told me not to make a mess!
She got ill, apparently, Kevins son added, echoing Stan. I simply asked her to iron my shirt!
I was getting ready for a date! She handed me the iron, turned on a video on her tablet showing how to iron a shirt, and that was that!
Emily listened to both complaints without a flicker of anxiety.
Her mother, however, lost her temper.
Emily, what does this mean? Mrs. Whitaker exclaimed, indignated. You were such a good girl! Kind, polite, helpful! Im ashamed of you!
Im not ashamed of myself! Emily answered firmly.
Sunspots appear on a bright day. So too does patience, once praised, become dismissed as a flaw, and people speak of it with negativity.
Why endure?
Why endure so long?
I wouldnt have endured!
I wouldnt have tolerated!
Outrage multiplies when someone shows patience, as if it were a crime, while burning bridges at any convenience is celebrated.
Yet dialogue is lauded when problems are solved with words, not fists or scorched bridges.
Delicacy was Emilys nature. She was raised to see every person as a separate world, and imposing ones own standards on anothers soul is at best foolish, at worst disastrous.
To understand someone, you must put yourself in their shoes, see through their eyes, think as they think, and only then render judgment.
Following this, Emily grasped why her friend had taken her boyfriend. It hurtfirst love and all that.
She first saw it from the boyfriends side:
He wanted more, and I wasnt ready. Ksenia was not only ready but wanted it. If Kirill were ten years older, his hormones would be settled. His action, then, was logical.
Then from the friends side:
She comes from a large family, always short of money, with parents forcing her to watch younger siblings.
Kirills parents are wealthy, hes an only child. To her, he was a ticket out of a family nightmare, a promise of a better life.
Thats just one of many examples. Emily never gave up at the first hurdle; she always tried to see what drove a persons actions.
She even managed to understand when colleagues set her up at work. Often she proved her point and restored fairness.
She never blamed the offender, only found the reason. Any reason, unless its madness, has a legitimate right to exist and can justify the behaviour.
For her husband, Emily became a treasure, a priceless gem.
Most of Stans flaws were forgiven, relegated to mere annoyancesnothing ideal, but they went unnoticed.
Not every man knows how to compliment or court a lady, Emily admitted. So should I abandon him for not bringing flowers or opening doors? Id rather push my own chair at a restaurant than wait for him.
She applied the same understanding elsewhere.
She recognised Stan couldnt tidy up; his mother always did that for him. He couldnt cookfor the same reason. He didnt know how to use a washing machine. In short, he was helpless at home, and Emily realised not all men are born handy.
She asked him to do things, explained, taught, but most of the time she did it herself.
She also accepted that Stan showed little overt fatherly affection toward their son, Daniel. Science, however, backs him up: men usually start to bond with a child around three years old, when they can interact, play, and teach. A crying infant is a mystery that many fathers dread.
That explained why Stan got irritated when Daniel wailed, or when Emily spent more time with their son than with him. Fear and jealousy, plain and simple.
When their marriage passed the tenyear mark, Emily accepted Stans growing chill.
The habit stuck! Theyre not lads any more, with hormones raging!
She understood his need for outings with friends, workhome balance, and a change of scenery.
A strange thought crossed her mind: how would she react if Stan took a lover? Could she accept it? No answer was needed; Stan never looked left, and that flaw simply didnt exist.
Emilys life wasnt defined by a single husband.
Their son Daniel followed his fathers footsteps, yet no amount of household lessons stuck. He preferred videogame battlesa realm where he and Stan finally connected and understood each other.
Emily realised Daniel saw his father as a role modelthat was natural.
She also had a brother, Kevin, younger but with a completely different temperament. He loved noise, drama, conflict, feeding off others energy.
As a child, Emily often wept over his antics, later recognising his jealousy and desire to control emotions around him.
His marriage was a brief sprint; his wife had a strong character. After a few years of clashes, they divorced, leaving little Zina, their daughter, without a full family.
It wasnt Kevins nature that mattered, but the fact he became a Sunday fatherstill clueless about domestic chores, much like Stan.
Before taking Zina for the weekend, Kevin would ask Emily to tidy his flat and prepare something decent, as he survived on takeaway.
Zinas exwife would see Kevin only about once a month, so his responsibilities to his sister were infrequent.
Then there was their mother.
People say Mother is sacred! and theyre right. When a mother asks for help, a child cant refuse. Yet when it becomes extreme, refusal becomes possible.
Mrs. Whitaker never overstepped. She could clean and cook herself; she was strong. She invited Emily mainly for company, not assistance. Emily treated her mothers requests with understandingmore for companionship than chores. If it were only to sit, Emily wouldnt linger long; but while she cleaned, cooked, and chatted, time flew.
Nothing foreshadowed the final clash, but Emily finally said a firm No. Why? Because shed had enough.
Im not ashamed of myself, nor do I feel sorry, Emily declared. I was foolish to think I could keep taking on everyones flaws and behaviour.
The foolishness lay in trying to care for everyone, assuming theyd think of me in return, not because I did something for them, but because they loved, valued, and respected me. I never saw that coming.
The room fell silent. They were used to Emilys quiet, and now she spoke.
Im not a girl anymore, she continued. Its too late to overhaul my life, but Ill only do what I truly want from now on!
If I feel like feeding my husband after work, Ill do it, set the table, wash the dishes. If I dont, Stan, you know where the fridge is!
Youre not a child who cant feed yourself! That goes for you, Daniel, tooyoure seventeen now!
You can manage cooking, cleaning, and ironing if you want a crisp shirt.
She turned to her brother:
If I want to visit my niece, Ill come over and tidy up for you! If I dont feel like it, youll learn the ropes yourself, or hire a cleaner. Not me!
And you, dear Mum, can welcome your daughter in a tidy flat and offer a snack, instead of forcing me to do everything!
Emily saw the sour faces of her relatives, realizing they disliked what shed said. She simply didnt want to be everyones convenience. She wanted to be convenient for herself.
Im going home, Emily stood. If you dont like the new rules, I wont call anyone. And dont expect me to answer.
Her husband and son returned only for their belongings. Her brother stopped calling. Her mother phoned just to accuse her of selfishness.
Selfishness isnt only thinking of yourself, Emily replied, its demanding everyone think of you first, then yourself. Ponder that.
Perhaps Emily hadnt intended such a drastic shift, but life turned itself around. A new life for a new Emily. A happy life, all because she said No.
The lesson: true contentment comes not from bending for everyone else, but from setting boundaries that honour your own needs. When you respect yourself, others learn to respect you too.
