You know, I often think back to those days in the little terraced house on the edge of Leeds, wondering how we got so tangled up.Helen would ask Edward quietly, Do you ever think about me? Shed say she understood his love for his daughter, that she wasnt about to cut him off from the girl, but she wondered whether it didnt seem odd that his former wife kept milking him through the child.Because of Margarets whims we have to scrimp everywhere, Helen would mutter.When will it end?
That Friday Helen arrived home early from her job at the bank, set the kettle on, and laid out the evening spread. It was a Friday, so they knew Edwards elevenyearold daughter from his first marriage, Felicity, would be coming over. When the doorbell rang, Helen hurried to the hallway. Edward stood there with the girl, who slipped inside without a glance at Helen and tossed a curt Hi over her shoulder. Edward, looking guilty, murmured to his wife, Hello, love. How was your day?
It was fine, Helen replied, trying to mask the irritation curling inside her. Come on, have dinner.
A heavy silence fell over the table. Edward tried to lighten the mood, telling Felicity about his work, but the girl answered in monosyllables or stayed mute, deliberately ignoring Helen. She ate in silence, feeling a tight knot forming in her throat.
Dad, Mum said she urgently needs money for a new winter coat, Felicity blurted out suddenly. Shes got an old one and feels embarrassed walking to school with it.
Alright, Felicity, well talk after dinner, Edward said calmly. Helen felt a flush of anger rise.
Again with the money, again these endless pleas, she thought. How many times must we hear this?
After supper Edward and Felicity retreated to the girls bedroom for homework. Helen remained in the kitchen washing dishes, catching fragments of their conversation.
Dad, you know she really needs it. Shes the one pulling us, and Felicitys voice lowered.
Cant my husband buy her a coat? Edward asked timidly.
Dad, what does my husband have to do with it? Hes broke! I wouldnt ask if it werent terrible. Youre a man, you should support her! And youre my father!
Helen could take no more. She flung the sponge into the sink and marched into the bedroom.
Edward, we need to talk, she said firmly.
Not now, Helen, he tried to dodge, were doing homework.
No, now, Helen pressed. Felicity, could you give us a minute?
The girl frowned but slipped out of the room. Helen shut the door tightly behind her and turned to Edward.
How long is this going to go on? she demanded.
What do you mean? Edward pretended not to understand.
The money, Edward! Your exwife, Felicity, everything! Were barely keeping up on the mortgage, Ive given up everything for us, and you keep splashing cash on her! Its outrageous!
Its my child, Helen. I cant turn her away, Edward began to defend himself.
Have you thought about me? About us? We have needs too! I cant even fix my teeth because theres no money!
I get it, Edward said apologetically, Ill talk to Margaret
Shell never listen! She always gets what she wants. Maybe you should remind her that she has a husband who should also look after his own family, Helen snapped.
Dont bring Margaret into this, Helen, Edward frowned, shes a good mother.
A good mother? If she were, she wouldnt dump all her problems on you! She likes that you foot the bill, Helen retorted.
Enough! Edward exploded, Dont speak like that about my childs mother!
And dont forget you have a proper wifeone who loves and supports you! Helen shouted.
I love you, Edward whispered, but I cant abandon my daughter.
Then maybe you should decide who you love more? Helen challenged.
Edward lowered his head, silent.
Whats all this shouting about? she asked, looking at the tearstreaked Helen, Are you arguing?
No, Felicity, Edward tried to calm his daughter, everythings fine.
No, its not fine! Helen snapped, Your father and I are fighting over you and your mother!
Because of me? Felicity raised an eyebrow in surprise.
Yes, because you keep demanding money, because you treat me like an empty space! Helen ranted.
What am I supposed to do, love you? Youre a stranger to me! Felicity snapped back. I have my mum!
Helen felt as if shed been slapped. She stared at Edward, waiting for a word, but he only bowed his head.
You know what, Felicity, Helen said hoarsely, stay here as long as you like, but I wont put up with this any longer. My patience has run out.
She left the room, leaving Edward and Felicity alone. Closing the bedroom door, Helen fetched her phone and dialed her friend.
Hello, she choked out, tears spilling, I need to talk.
The next day Helen met her friend at a café on Briggate. She looked pale, barely touching her scone. After listening, her friend asked, Helen, are you seriously thinking of a divorce?
I dont know, Helen admitted truthfully, I love Edward, but I cant live like this. Hes torn between me and his former family, and I feel like an extra. Im exhausted.
I understand. But maybe give it another try? Explain how you feel, what you need.
Ive said it a thousand times! Helen waved her hand, He seems to understand, yet nothing changes. He doesnt want to hurt his daughter, but he hurts me.
What about Felicity? Have you tried talking to her? the friend prompted.
Talking to her is pointless! Helen exclaimed, She only listens to her mother and does everything to get under my skin. She doesnt see me as a person.
You know, children often mimic their parents, the friend noted, maybe you should still try to find common ground with her.
She cant stand me! She deliberately ignores me! Its impossible, Helen cut off.
But perhaps you should give it a go? Show her you want a relationship, and maybe shell change her attitude.
Helen thought it over. Her friend had a point: if she wanted to save the marriage, shed have to swallow her pride and try to bridge the gap with the stubborn teenager.
Alright, Helen finally said, Ill try, but I dont expect much.
That afternoon, when Edward brought Felicity home, Helen decided to act. She emerged from the kitchen with a tray of scones and tea. Felicity was slumped on the sofa, eyes glued to her phone.
Felicity, Helen said, would you like some tea and a scone?
Felicity lifted her head, giving Helen a disdainful look.
Im not hungry, she replied.
Just have a try, Helen offered, placing the tray on the table, I baked them myself.
Reluctantly, Felicity took a bite.
Tasty, she murmured.
Im glad, Helen smiled, come sit, Ill get you more tea.
Felicity sat down, looking a little nervous. Not long before, the stepmother who had shouted at her was now speaking gently.
Felicity, I wanted to talk, Helen began, I know you dont like me being around your father.
And I shouldnt like you, Felicity interrupted, youre not my mother.
I get that, Helen nodded, Im not trying to replace anyone. I just want peace. Your father suffers from our fights.
Felicity stared at her cup in silence.
I know you love your mum, and thats wonderful. It doesnt mean you have to hate me. I love your father too.
Youre lying! Felicity shouted, You both only argue!
We argue because life is hard, Helen admitted, but that doesnt mean we dont love each other.
She waited, watching Felicitys eyes trace the pattern on the tablecloth.
I never meant you any harm, Helen said softly, I just want us all to be happy. Youre the daughter of the man I love, understand?
Felicity lifted her gaze, meeting Helens. The harsh edge had softened.
Really? she whispered.
Really, Helen replied, I could swear on it right now.
Just then Edward walked in, surprised to see them chatting quietly.
Is something wrong? he asked.
No, just talking, Helen replied with a smile.
The evening turned out better than anyone could have expected. Felicity played a game of Twister with her stepmother, and Edward laughed heartily, his chuckles echoing through the cosy living room. For the first time, Felicity showed no animosity toward Helen. She turned out to be quite nice after all, not the villain shed been painted as.
