Why would she need such a grandmother?
What a peculiar woman you are! First you invited my grandson for the whole summer, we made all the plans, and now you tell us dont bring him? What am I supposed to do?!
The phones speaker crackled with the daughterinlaws indignation. Margaret held the handset a short distance from her ear; the words came through loud and clear even without the speakerphone.
Emily, your plans are your business. You never consulted me, and now
You were the ones who begged us to bring Sam to your cottage! the daughterinlaw cut her off. I dont understand you at all. What kind of grandmother are you? You cant keep your grandson, you cant even drive him to the garden. Youve never brought him any berries, you just haul boxes to yourself! Why does he need a grandmother like you when theres a perfectly normal one elsewhere?
Margaret winced, pressed a free hand to her heart and exhaled in short bursts. She understood the subtext: either take the boy with you, or never see him again. A low, underhanded ultimatum.
In some ways Emily was right, if you look at the bare facts. But she twisted the whole situation upside down.
Its best to start with the cottage Margaret had once hoped to use for Sam. It was modest, lacking modern comforts. The toilet was an outhouse, the shower a summertime bucket. The garden yielded berries she never wanted to eat. A simple charcoal grill they’d once used with her first husband, a few plastic chairs and a tablenothing fancy, but, as Margaret liked to think, cosy in a plain way.
When Andrew, her son, announced he wanted to visit the cottage with his sweetheart, Margaret grew uneasy.
Shed only known Emily in passing. Pretty, wellkept, confident, but with a streak of spoiled caprice. She looked down on everyone, as if constantly judging. At their first meeting Emily roamed Margarets house without asking, like an inspector. Margaret didnt like it, but she obliged, giving the girl a tour, showing off her collection of little figurines and family photo albums.
Andy, the idea sounds lovely but are you sure Emily will like it? You grew up at that cottage. I doubt Emily is used to such rustic life, Margaret said cautiously when her son, full of enthusiasm, shared his weekend plans.
Ill explain everything to her. Shes been saying she wants a countryside escape. And this place its just perfect.
Margaret sighed but didnt argue. She feared people would think she didnt want to host them.
She should have refused outright.
Margaret spent two full days preparing. She cleaned, baked pies, dug out from the cellar the special reserves kept for rare occasions. Anxiety gnawed at her, yet the anticipation of a joyful reunion eclipsed the uneasy feeling.
From the first moment, however, things went awry. Emily alighted from the car in a white dress and highheeled sandals, scanned the surroundings, and narrowed her eyes with disdain. Her face darkened instantly.
Is this a toilet or what? she asked, pointing with a finger, disgust evident.
Well yes. Its outdoors, but its clean, as decent as any, Margaret answered with a strained smile.
A real communion with nature, in every sense Emily said, dripping sarcasm.
What followed was worse.
Its horrendous like stepping back into the Stone Age, she complained to Andy. Did you really bathe in a bucket as a child? There are so many mosquitoes you might as well stay in the car! And the smellabsolutely dreadful.
Its just the neighbours chickens, nothing to worry about, Andy shrugged.
Emilys outcry was so loud Margaret heard every word. She felt uncomfortable; after all, it wasnt she who had invited Emily. She had prepared, she had waited, and she was met with a slap in the face.
Maybe shell get used to it, Margaret thought. The daughterinlaw and son lived far away, a days drive, so they had planned to stay the whole weekend.
But Emily didnt last a day. When another mosquito bit her, she swatted wildly and headed for the car.
Thats it! Either you take me home or Ill call a cab, she snapped at Andy. No one can live like this!
Andy didnt argue. He said a hurried goodbye to his mother and awkwardly helped Emily into the car.
I didnt think it would be so hard for her he muttered, embarrassed.
Margaret tried to blame habit and unfamiliarity. It was hard for her too to adapt to this new routine. Still, she didnt throw tantrums or slam doors. That was Andys choice; he would have to live with the woman hed married.
Six years later Emily and Andy were married, and their son Sam was born. Relations with the daughterinlaw never really smoothed, but Margaret still hoped to build a bond, at least with her grandson. It wasnt easy; they lived in different towns, but she believed a desire would find a way.
Emily, could you bring Sam over? Margaret suggested one afternoon. Ive got a garden, a little brook, fresh air. He could have a years worth of vitamins.
Where? In that squalor? Hed be better off staying at home, Emily huffed. You could send the vitamins yourself. You boasted you had more cherries than you could handle. That would at least give us a chance to meet once this summer.
The sting hurt to the point of tears, but Margaret didnt argue. Its hard to explain to a pampered city girl that hauling cherries all day in the heat is no grand adventure. The neighbours children get used to the same conditions quickly. Margaret just wanted a bit of time with Sam.
That was last year. Then everything changed.
Now Margarets life was half spent in hospitals, dripstands, and waiting rooms. A quarter was bound by strict medical limits. Shed recently undergone surgery, and the doctor forbade her from being out in the heat or lifting anything heavy.
Take this seriously, the doctor warned. With your heart you must stay under a cover, no strenuous activity, only gentle walks.
The most painful part was that Andy never visited Margaret throughout all that time, not even when she was in the ward. They spoke on the phone, and that was all. Margaret saw her friend Violet more often than she saw her own son. In fact, it was Violet who had helped her financially when the cottage was deemed unsuitable for her health this year. When Violet learned of Margarets plight, she offered:
Listen, Ill speak to my friends. They wanted a summer break but their holiday allowance is laughably small, and the seaside isnt cheap these days. Ill sort something out for you, no thanks needed. It would be good for you and give them a bit of countryside downtime.
Margaret gratefully accepted. In her condition, every penny mattered.
Soon, Emily finally seemed ready. When the young couple made plans, the unsanitary state of the cottage no longer mattered.
Emily, I suggested this a year ago, you know. A year! Plans are grand, I had my own for this summer, but life had other ideas. The cottage now has other occupants, I cant go there, I just had surgery.
When was that?
Two months ago.
Two months? People start marathons in that time! You should be getting back on your feet. Youre lucky you can sit at home on a pension. Some still have to work, Emily persisted. If you cant take Sam to the cottage, bring him to you.
To an apartment? From one city flat to another? Whats the point?
The point is wed finally get a proper break! Andy and I have never had a day alone with Sam since he was born. You kept shouting you wanted to see your grandson. Here, take him!
Emily, are you even listening? A child needs constant care, and I can barely get around the house.
Its laziness, admit it, Emily pressed.
Margaret snapped the phone shut. The argument felt pointless, draining her. She was alone; if she fell ill, would Emily ever come to look after her? Of course not.
That evening Andy called, apologising for Emilys behaviour and gently asking whether there might still be a chance to take Sam to Margarets place. The request made Margarets eyes well up, as if she were a little girl hurt by rejection.
Andy tell me honestly, did you tell Emily Id had surgery? she blurted. How did you know and still leave the grandson with me without asking?
Andy fell silent. Seconds stretched, his quiet pressing like a weight on Margarets chest.
Mum I said you were ill. I didnt know it was that serious.
Ill. He didnt know. Those words crashed over her. He seemed indifferent to her condition, never really trying to understand how hard it was for her to even climb a flight of stairs.
I see she managed.
Three days of oppressive silence followed, heavy as fog. It felt as though, having denied the young couple help, she had become invisible, forgotten by everyone, even her sons evening messages stopped.
On the fourth day her old friend Violet called, just in time.
Fancy a little break at your cottage? My folks wont be there this weekend. Itll be cool, we can sit, have a chat, Violet suggested.
Lets do it, Margaret replied at once, feeling a catlike scratch inside her. She wanted anyone near.
They brewed tea, opened a box of biscuits Violet had sent. The conversation flowed, and Margaret poured out everything.
Oh, what can I say You know how it is. Theyve got their own lives now. Dont tear your heart out, live as you can. Youve still got me, at least. Who knows, maybe youll find an old chap to keep you company in the evenings, Violet smiled. Or finally devote yourself to yourself. Health is one thing; you cant keep taking on everyones expectations.
Margaret sighed, nudging the biscuit tin closer. Inside, a dull ache lingered, but she finally felt she was doing the right thing. She wasnt crushing herself for others demands, nor bending to their whims at the cost of her health. It was hard, the daughterinlaw had turned away, her sons indifference burned, yet life, with all its rises and falls, went on. Even without them.
