Diary 21May
Tonight the inlaws came over for the dinner wed been scrambling to organise. My motherinlaw, Margaret, burst into the kitchen as soon as she arrived and, without any preamble, demanded, Take off your wedding ring, love my daughter needs it more.
I tried to keep my nerve. We cant keep putting this off, Emily. Either you see a doctor or Ill book an appointment for you myself, I said, drumming my fingers on the table, my frustration barely hidden.
Emily sighed, ran a hand through her hair and muttered, Its only been three months. The doctor said we should wait six before worrying.
Three months? I scoffed. Weve been married two years. Two! And still no baby. My mother asks every day when shell be a grandma.
She turned, pretending to search the pantry, while the conversation inevitably spiralled into a fight. She wants a child too; the pressure from Margaret only makes it harder.
Speaking of your mother, she changed the subject, dont forget the guests are due tomorrow night. We need groceries.
Ive already bought what we need, I grumbled, cooling down. Mum asked for roast duck with apples, like we did at Christmas. She says your cooking makes her miss the old holidays.
Emily managed a faint smile. At least one of the inlaws appreciates her culinary skills, unlike Margaret who can find fault with everything Emily does.
Is Lucy coming as well? Emily asked, thinking of my younger sister.
Of course. And she wont be alone, I said, brightening a little. Mum says shes got a new boyfriend a serious one, a doctor.
Emilys smile tightened with a pinch of envy. Lucy, twentytwo, already has her third serious boyfriend this year. Margaret constantly holds Lucy up as the ideal daughter beautiful, smart, careerdriven while Emily, at thirty, feels judged for having neither children nor a standout promotion.
Im sorry, love, I said, slipping my arm around her shoulders. I dont mean to push. Im just worried.
I know, she replied, laying her hand over mine. Itll be fine. Ill make your favourite duck tomorrow and everyone will be happy.
I kissed her cheek and drifted to the living room to watch the football, leaving Emily alone with a mental checklist: wash the crystal set, iron the tablecloth, polish the silverware Margaret would sniff out any slipup. And she still needed an outfit elegant, but not gaudy. No matter how hard Emily tried, Margaret always found something to gripe about.
The next morning Emily rose before me, slipping quietly out of bed so as not to wake me. She knew a long day lay ahead.
By three oclock the flat gleamed, the duck was slowroasting in the oven, filling the corridors with a mouthwatering scent, and the table was set as if we were expecting dignitaries rather than family. Emily examined herself in the mirror: a navyblue shift dress with a high collar slimmed her figure, light makeup freshened her complexion. On her finger sparkled a modest platinum band with a tiny diamond a wedding gift from her parents, not ostentatious but elegant.
You look lovely, I said, wrapping my arms around her from behind.
Thanks, she replied, trying to mask her nerves. Every meeting with Margaret feels like a test. I hope your mum likes the meal.
Shell love it, I winked. No one can resist your duck.
The doorbell rang precisely at five. Margaret was always punctual.
My dears! she exclaimed, stepping in and planting a kiss on my cheek. Emily received only a dry handshake. Ive missed you so much!
Behind her came Robert, my father, a tall, silverhaired gentleman with a kindly smile. He hugged Emily and whispered, It smells wonderful, love. My mouth is watering.
Emily returned his smile gratefully; we always got along with him.
Wheres Lucy? I asked, helping my parents settle.
Shell arrive a little later, Margaret replied, eyeing the hallway critically. With Adam. Theyre stuck at the clinic.
Adam? Emily asked.
Her fiancé, Margaret announced proudly. A neurosurgeon. Very promising!
Fiancé? I blurted, surprised. Mum, you never mentioned they were that serious.
Well, not officially yet, Margaret waved it off. But its only a matter of time. Hes already hinted at asking for her hand.
Emily caught my fathers eye he rolled his pupils, a subtle sign that his wife was, as usual, presenting wishful thinking as fact.
Come in, everyone, Emily said, stepping into the lounge. Ill set the table. Mark, could you lend a hand?
In the kitchen I exhaled and began arranging the starters while Mark cracked open a bottle of red.
Dont mind your mum too much, he said. She always blows things out of proportion, especially about Lucy.
I know, Emily forced a smile. Just help me with the salads.
Half an hour later Lucy arrived a striking blonde with a trendy cut and immaculate nails accompanied by a tall, darkhaired man in a sharp suit.
Hey all! Lucy chirped, hugging her brother. This is Adam. Adam, this is Mark, and this is me, Emily.
Pleasure, Adam said, shaking Marks hand. Thanks for having us.
Its a family tradition, Emily replied. A dinner once a month.
A lovely tradition, Adam agreed. Family is what matters most.
Margaret beamed at her daughter and her guest.
See, Mark? Lucy may be younger, but shes already found a solid match. Adam runs the neurosurgery department, by the way.
Mom, were just dating, Lucy rolled her eyes. Dont embarrass Adam.
Its fine, dear, Margaret patted her hand. I just see the potential. Meanwhile, you two have been married two years and still have no nest or children.
Mother! I interjected, a little exasperated. Weve already talked about this.
What? Im just stating the facts, Margaret said innocently. Just observing.
The conversation drifted to news, politics, and recent family events. The duck with apples was a hit; even Margaret praised it. Emily finally relaxed a bit, hoping the evening would pass without incident.
When it was time for dessert a homemade tiramisu Lucy suddenly clutched her finger.
Whats wrong? Adam asked.
My ring is digging, she complained, removing a thin gold band with a tiny stone. I think my fingers swollen from the heat.
Margaret snatched the ring, turning it over. Thats cheap jewellery! Lucy, you deserve something better.
Its a gift, Lucy tried to take it back.
From whom? Margaret demanded.
A colleague, Lucy answered reluctantly. For my birthday.
From Kyle? Margaret narrowed her eyes. I knew it! Youre still seeing that rogue?
Mom! Hes not a rogue, hes a good friend, Lucy protested.
Margaret sneered at Adam. Dont mind her, love. Shes had a bad fling, but shell see the light soon.
Seeing Adam tense, Margaret quickly shifted back to Emily.
Emily, youre doing the right thing by not wearing cheap trinkets, she said, gesturing at Emilys hand. A proper wedding ring is what a married woman ought to wear.
Emily instinctively crossed her left hand over her right, as if shielding the ring. She didnt like the way Margaret was twisting the conversation.
Your mother put a lot of thought into choosing that ring, Margaret continued, nostalgic. I remember when we all looked through catalogues together
It was a gift from my parents, Emily corrected softly. A family heirloom.
A awkward silence fell. Margaret pursed her lips.
I thought Mark bought it, she finally said.
Emilys right, Mum, I interjected. It came from her parents. They wanted her to have it.
Margarets displeasure was evident. Well, its sweet of them. In our family we also have traditions. I wore my motherinlaws ring and hoped to pass it on someday.
Nodds father, Robert, murmured something, but Margaret ignored him.
And Lucy could use a good ring now, especially with a serious boyfriend on the horizon, she added, glancing between Lucy and Emily.
Emily froze, understanding the implication.
You want me to give my wedding ring to Lucy? she asked, voice steady.
Just lend it for a while, Margaret said, feigning innocence. Shell need to look proper if shes getting engaged. You dont need to wear such an expensive piece every day, do you?
The room fell silent. Emily felt heat rise to her cheeks, Lucys embarrassment, Adams discomfort. Only Margaret remained composed, as if nothing had crossed a line.
Ill check the dessert, Emily said, standing abruptly.
She slipped into the kitchen, leaning against the fridge, hands trembling. Six years of tolerating Margarets outbursts had taught her resilience, but tonights demand was a new high. Requiring her to hand over a family heirloom to a sisterinlaw who might never marry? It was beyond the pale.
The kitchen door opened and my father, Robert, entered.
Give her a break, love, he whispered to Emily. Margaret can be particular, especially when Lucys involved.
This isnt being particular, Robert, Emily replied, shaking her head. Its disrespectful to me, my parents, and our marriage.
I know, he said, guilt etched on his face. Ill talk to her. Dont take it to heart.
Emily nodded weakly, though she doubted any conversation would change Margaret. She plated the tiramisu and carried it out.
Just then Mark appeared in the kitchen.
Emily, how are you holding up? he asked without meeting my eyes.
What do you think? I answered quietly. Your mother just demanded I hand over my wedding ring to your sister, and you stayed silent.
I get it, he said, rubbing his temples. Shes shes that way. Its easier to let it slide.
Slide? I looked at him, disbelief in my voice. This isnt a passing comment. Its a demand to give away something dear to me. And you suggest we just pretend nothing happened?
No, of course not, he said, moving closer, trying to hug me. I stepped back. I just dont want a fight. Lets finish the night and Ill speak to her later.
Remember what you said last time? And the time before that? I laughed bitterly. You always promise to talk, but nothing changes.
Emily he began, but I cut him off.
Mark, take the dessert to the guests. Im going to lie down. My heads pounding.
I placed the dessert trays on a tray and left the lounge, trying to keep my posture straight. As I passed the living room I said, Sorry, Im feeling a bit faint. Enjoy your meal.
I closed my bedroom door behind me.
An hour later the guests were departing, their voices low and strained. The flat was quiet once the door shut.
Mark knocked gently on my door.
Emily, can I come in?
I didnt answer, so he peeked inside. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring out the window.
Did they leave? I asked without turning.
Yes, he said, sitting beside me. Lucy apologised for her mother. Adam did too. They were both mortified.
And you? I asked. Did you feel mortified?
Of course, he admitted, head bowed. I should have stopped her. Said something.
But you didnt, I said flatly. As usual.
I didnt know what to do, he confessed. You know how she is. If you argue, it just gets worse.
Worse? I chuckled dryly. Your mother publicly humiliated me, demanded I hand over a family heirloom, and you stayed quiet. As always.
I rose and walked to the window.
I keep thinking about the future, I said, watching the city lights. If we have a child, will your mother decide how to raise them? Will you keep quiet again?
Dont dramatise, love, Mark said, moving behind me. She just loves Lucy a bit too much and wants the best for her.
For us? At our expense? I turned to him. Thats not love, Mark. Thats selfishness, and you enable it by staying silent.
We stood facetoface and I finally saw that Mark would never change; he would always find excuses for his mother and never put my feelings first.
Im tired, Mark, I whispered. Six years of trying to belong to your family, and youll never let me in. Never.
What are you saying? fear flickered in his eyes.
I looked at my wedding ring. The tiny diamond caught a streetlamps glint and sparkled like a tear.
Im saying we need to think seriously about our future whether there is one for us together.
Marks face went pale.
Emily, you cant
I dont know, I admitted. But tonight I learned something clear: you will never stand up for me against your mother. I cant live like that.
I slipped the ring off and placed it on the nightstand.
Im going to my parents for a few days. I need space to think.
Please, Emily, Mark grabbed my hand. Lets talk. Ill change. Ill speak to my mother, I promise.
Youve promised that many times, I said sadly. Nothing changed. Nothing will.
I freed my hand, began packing. Mark sat by the window, clueless how to stop me. Deep down he knew I was right. His mother had crossed every line, and he had let her.
When I finally shut the door behind me, Mark collapsed onto the bed. The ring lay on the nightstand a silent reminder of vows he couldnt keep. He picked it up, holding it tightly. Its not too late to fix things, I thought, but only if I learn to say no even to my own motherinlaw.
Lesson: I must find the courage to protect what matters most, even when family expectations try to smother it.
