Not a mother, but a cuckoo.
Where are you off to? Im askingwhats gotten into you?
Maxs sharp shout finally pulls Olivia out of her morning daze. She lifts herself on her elbows in the narrow guestroom bed, listening through the thin wall. For the past two weeks she has been staying with her older brother Max while she looks for work and a place of her own in London. The move has been hard, but theres no other optionher hometown offers no prospects.
A sudden, highpitched cry pierces the flat. Fourmonthold Tommy wakes up because his parents have been arguing. Olivia winces, sits on the edge of the bed, and pulls her dressing gown tighter.
I have an interview, Lenas muffled voice says from the kitchen, her husbands wife.
An interview? Are you out of your mind? Max shouts, his voice rising. Youve got a baby! What job could you possibly think of? Stay at home with the child!
Olivia waits for Lenas reply, but the flat falls silent except for Tommys continued wailing. Then the front door slams shut. Lena has left.
Olivia steps out of the room and heads to the kitchen. Max stands in the middle, awkwardly rocking the screaming infant in his arms. Anger and helplessness flicker across his face.
Thats how it always goes, he mutters, noticing Olivia. She abandons the baby and runs off with her own business.
Olivia quietly takes the nephew from Maxs arms. The baby slowly calms, burying his cheek against her shoulder. Max slumps heavily into a chair, rubbing his face with his palms.
Lena has completely lost it, Max continues, staring into nowhere. How can she leave a child and think about a job? At least my holiday starts, so I can look after Tommy.
Olivia rocks the drowsy infant, weighing Maxs words.
Max, maybe you should talk to Lena calmly, without shouting, Olivia suggests gently. Perhaps shes dealing with somethingpostnatal depression is common. She might need professional help.
Max waves her off as if swatting a fly.
Depression? No way! Lenas always been a free spirit, a careerdriven woman. I hoped shed settle down after the baby, become a proper mother. She isnt changing a bit. She doesnt care about the child!
Olivia wants to argue but stays silent. Tommy finally falls asleep, and she carefully places him in his cot.
Lena returns only in the evening. Olivia is just tucking Tommy in when she hears the lock click. The daughterinlaw passes the nursery without looking inside. Olivia steps into the hallway and sees Lena silently preparing dinner in the kitchen. Max sits in the living room, television on, deliberately not speaking to his wife.
The atmosphere in the flat becomes unbearable. Olivia retreats to her own room and dials her mother.
Mum, somethings wrong here, Olivia whispers into the phone, recounting the days events.
Her mother sighs heavily on the other end.
Yes, love, Lena has been like this since the baby was born. Max has complained to me many times. It seems her maternal instinct never woke up. Poor boy, he must be struggling. I cant imagine how the child feels with a mother whos not therehe senses everything.
Olivia lies in bed for a long while, unable to grasp how things could be so different. She remembers Lena before pregnancysweet, kind, caring. Max was smitten with her. Now the coldness toward her own child, toward her husband, is shocking. Something is terribly wrong.
Lena regularly leaves the house, disappearing from morning till night, leaving Max alone with the infant. Max takes Tommy to the shop, on walks, trying to juggle childcare and chores. Olivia helps as best she can, but she knows this cant go on forever.
A week later Lena comes home with a bright look in her eyes. For the first time Olivia sees a hint of a smile on her face.
Ive got a job, Lena announces at dinner.
Max freezes, spoon halfraised. Color drains from his face.
Are you kidding me? he snarls. You have a fourmonthold son! Youre supposed to look after him, not run off to an office!
Lena replies coldly, Its my life.
Max leaps up from the table.
Youre selfish! You only think of yourself! Thats wrong! Youre a mother; you belong with the baby!
Olivia watches Lena withdraw into herself, silent, and then slip into the bedroom. They never see her again that night.
The next day Olivia and Max take Tommy for a walk in the park. Max pushes the pram and keeps complaining.
See how she treats him? Our own son, and she doesnt care, Max says, looking at the sleeping baby. She never picks him up again, never kisses, never hugs. What kind of mother is she? Not a mother, but a cuckoo!
Olivia stays quiet, unsure what to answer. She feels sorry for her brother, yet something inside tells her the story isnt as simple as it sounds.
They return home after a couple of hours. The flat is oddly quiet. Olivia flips the hallway light switch.
Lena? Are you home? she calls.
Silence. Olivia walks through the roomskitchen empty, living room likewise. Max, still holding Tommy, heads toward the bedroom. Olivia hears Max gasp sharply and rushes to him.
Max stands before an opened wardrobe. Half the shelves are bare; Lenas belongings are gone.
Shes left Max croaks out.
He collapses onto the bed, still cradling his son, his shoulders trembling.
Ungrateful! After everything Ive done for her! he shouts. I gave her everythingflat, love, marriage, a child! And she just walks out!
Olivia sits beside her brother, trying to soothe him. A dark foreboding tightens in her chest.
Max, what could have driven her to do that? Tell me honestly what happened between you two.
Max looks at his sister, eyes reddened, and stays silent, gathering his thoughts.
The pregnancy was accidental, he finally admits. Lena didnt want a baby. She said she wasnt ready, that she wanted to focus on her career. I pressed her, said we were both thirtysomething, it was time to settle down, have a family. She agreed, but after the birth love never came. I hoped motherhood would awaken, that shed bond with the child. She just drifted further away.
Olivia stares, eyes wide. The picture she had built of Lena shatters instantly. She had thought her daughterinlaw was merely temperamental, but the truth is far darkerLena was essentially forced into motherhood she never wanted.
Max Olivia can only manage a trembling whisper.
A few days later Maxs holiday ends. He returns to work, effectively passing the care of Tommy onto Olivia. She doesnt objecther nephew isnt to blame for his parents problems.
A week passes. One morning Max bursts in, waving a stack of papers.
Shes filed for divorce! he shouts. And she wants to relinquish parental rights to Tommy! She said on the phoneIf I wanted the child, Ill look after him myself! Ive got a job, a flat, I can manage. She doesnt need any of it!
Olivia rocks the baby in silence, listening to Maxs tirade. Each day she understands Lena a little more.
The following week Olivia essentially looks after the infant alone. Max comes home from work, eats dinner, and collapses onto the bed. On weekends he sleeps or watches TV. All the other chores fall to Olivia. She begins to see why Lena ran awayMax does nothing at home, offers no help, only demands.
Finally Olivia receives good news: she lands a job. She finds a modest onebedroom flat near the office. Shes ready to move out of the flat shes been sharing. Max, however, resents the news.
Youre abandoning us too! What about Tommy? Who will look after him? How can you just leave?
Olivia meets his glare calmly. She knows her answer will hurt him, but she repeats Lenas words.
You wanted the child, Max. Now look after him yourself. Stop shoving responsibility onto others.
Olivia stands in her new flat, arranging belongings on the shelves. The quiet settles, soothing after weeks of infant cries and Maxs outbursts. She pulls a photograph from a boxshe and Max as children, both beaming. She runs a fingertip over the picture, reflecting on how even the closest people can betray. The brother she idolised proves selfish, breaking his wifes life. And Lena, once condemned by everyone, was simply protecting herself.
Olivia places the photograph on a shelf and turns away. A fresh life lies ahead, her own life, finally.
