Emily and James divorced when their daughter Lily turned two years old. James just couldnt live with his wife anymore. She was always unhappy, always cross. Some days shed moan that James didnt earn enough, other days shed complain he was never home and never lifted a finger to help with Lily.
James tried his best to make her happy, but nothing worked. A few mates mentioned Emily might have postnatal depressionmaybe she needed to see a doctor, maybe take some medication.
But James wasnt convinced. She hadnt exactly been a ray of sunshine before Lily came along, and now it was like shed completely lost the plot.
He couldnt remember the last time hed seen Emily smile. Even when she was with Lily, her face was pure irritation, like she couldnt stand the sight of her. It made James want to snatch his daughter away and hide her somewhere safe.
Still, he suggested therapyjust once. The reaction? A torrent of abuse.
Oh, so now Im mental, am I? You think Im some sort of hysterical mess? Well, I wonder why, with you around!
After that, James had had enough. He told her he wanted a divorce. And Emily, just to spite him, took Lily and moved to another town. No child support requests, no forwarding addressnothing.
James searched for a while, then gave up. He loved Lily, wouldve done anything to stay in her life. But the thought of facing Emily again, the screaming, the accusationsit was too much. So he let it go.
Emily, meanwhile, boiled with rage. And it never faded. She blamed James for everything, convinced hed left her for someone else. That it had nothing to do with her.
That bitterness slowly dripped onto Lily.
She never hit her, never outright abused her, but Lily grew up drowning in negativity most people couldnt even imagine.
There were no celebrations in their house. Lily only learned about birthdays when she started nursery.
Mum, guess what? Tommy had a birthday today! Everyone sang to him, and he got a present! Will I get that too?
No. Its rubbish. You didnt do anything worth celebrating. Im the one who had you*I* should get the presents. And stop asking stupid questions. Waste of money.
They didnt do Christmas either. Luckily, Father Christmas visited the nursery, so that was Lilys only taste of holiday joy. On Christmas Day itself, she and her mum ate plain food and went to bed like any other night.
Emily couldnt stand laughter. Probably because shed forgotten how to do it herself. If Lily giggled at a cartoon, Emily would snap.
Whats that horrible noise? Stop cackling like a hyena! Theres nothing funny about it.
So Lily learned: smiling was bad. Laughing was bad. You had to be stern and miserable, just like Mum.
Whether Emily had actual mental health issues, no one knew. She refused to see a therapist, called it a con. Life wasnt for fun, shed say. People who were always happy were just silly and shallow.
Lily tasted her first sweet at nursery during someones birthday party. It was amazing.
That night, she dreamed of growing up and buying herself a whole bag of sweets. The thought made her smilea tiny, secret one.
Who knows how Lily wouldve turned out if shed stayed with her mum. Year after year, Emily got angrier, more bitter. Even the neighbours avoided her. Old ladies would cross the street when they saw her coming. Theres something not right about that one, theyd whisper.
All that rage mustve eaten her up inside. Emily got cancer. She hated doctors, so by the time the ambulance took her in, it was too late.
A neighbour took Lily in while Emily was at hospital. Before she left, Emily grudgingly gave the woman Jamess name and the city he lived in. Guess she cared a little, after all.
Emily never came home. No one told Lily straight awayshe was already so nervous, so afraid of doing something wrong.
Social services got involved, and they tracked James down fast.
By then, hed been remarried for six months. When the call came, he told his new wife, Charlotte, he wouldnt abandon Lily. Hed been looking for her all this time.
Charlotte was a good sort. She knew how much James had suffered, so she told him to go and bring his daughter home.
Lily didnt remember James. She was terrified, convinced life with him would be even worse.
When James arrived, Lily was at the neighbours. Social services had left her there to avoid more upheaval.
On the way, James bought a giant teddy bear and a bag of pick-and-mix sweets.
Lily shrank back when he walked inbut then she spotted the teddy. Then the sweets.
That won her over straight away. In her mind, anyone who brought sweets couldnt be all bad. Father Christmas gave sweets at nursery, and he was nice. No one else had ever given her any.
While Lily hugged the teddy, the neighbour filled James in.
Dont speak ill of the dead, but she was a right piece of work. Never said hello, never smiled. Swore like a sailor if she didnt like you. Poor Lily was always walking on eggshells.
Jamess heart ached. He shouldve fought harder, shouldve kept looking. But hed been too scared of Emily. And because of that, his daughter had suffered.
Once the paperwork was sorted and the funeral done, Lily went home with James.
Your birthdays coming up, he said, trying to cheer her. What would you like?
Lily stared at him, confused.
We dont do birthdays. Mum said theyre stupid. That I didnt deserve them.
James was stunned. Thats not true. Birthdays are special. Everyone should celebrate.
Can I just have some sweets then? Lily asked quietly. I really like sweets.
James could only nod. The words caught in his throat.
Later, after Charlotte had tucked Lily in, James poured himself a large whiskey in the kitchen.
Shes never had a birthday, he muttered when Charlotte walked in. You know what she asked for? Sweets. Just basic kids stuff. God, how did I let this happen? Even if Emily was skint, why take it out on Lily? Just to spite me?
Charlotte hugged him. Dont blame her. Lifes punished her enough.
Im not blaming her. Im blaming myself. I told myself theyd be fine, that I didnt need to worry. And now Ive got a kid whos scared to be happy.
Charlotte smiled. Well, well throw her the best birthday party ever. Make up for all the ones she missed.
The party was a week away. In that time, Lily settled in.
The biggest shock? James and Charlotte smiled. A lot. They laughed! Lily had thought adults forgot how.
And breakfast wasnt just tasteless porridge. Charlotte made pancakes, scrambled eggs, yoghurt with fruitso many things.
But the best part? There were always sweets in the house. James said she could have them whenever she wantedjust not too many, or shed get a tummy ache.
On her birthday, Lily woke up thinking she was dreaming.
Her room was full of balloons. For breakfast, there was cakewith candles to blow out!
Then they went to the funfair. And she got seven presentsone for every year.
Kids adapt fast, especially to good things. Within a month, Lily laughed freely, shrieked when excited, and hugged James and Charlotte all the time. Her mum had hated cuddles.
School started, life got better. Some memories faded, blurred. But Lily knew she was lucky. She felt sorry for her mum, but life with James was happier.
A year later, she called Charlotte Mum for the first time. Because, hard as it was to admit, Charlotte was more of a mother than Emily ever was.
