The air between them was thick with tension, the weight of unspoken words pressing down like a storm about to break.
“Honestly, Mum, is it so difficult to spare an extra bowl of soup for me and your grandson? I dont understand you!”
“Yes, Kirsten. It is difficult. A lot has changed since you left,” replied Natalie, not even letting her daughter cross the threshold. “Remind mewasnt it you who threw me out of your home and your life? So why are you making demands now?”
Kirsten rolled her eyes like a petulant child being scolded for misbehaviour. And perhaps thats exactly what she wasa grown woman still clinging to the belief that the world owed her everything.
“Mum, are you serious right now? I was pregnant then! Hormones, stress I dont even remember half of what I said!”
“Oh, I remember. Every word. That you hated me, that I had no heart, that I wished your baby dead And thats the polite version. If Im so terrible, why have you come crawling back?”
“For Gods sake, Mum! Youre supposed to be the adult here! You shouldve understood, found a way to make peace. Youve been through pregnancyyou know how emotions swing!”
Even now, Kirsten twisted it, making it seem like Natalie was the one at fault. As if she should have bent over backwards to please her. But Natalie had had enough.
“I understood you perfectly,” she said slowly, crossing her arms. “But understanding isnt the same as forgiving. Ill give you some money, Kirsten. A small amount. But I wont let you back in.”
She wasnt just talking about the flat. She couldnt let Kirsten back into her life. Because she knewKirsten would push, demand, and eventually destroy everything Natalie had rebuilt.
“How much is a small amount?”
“Two thousand pounds. Enough to get back on your feet.”
“That wont even cover a months rent! Fine for meIm an adult, I can tighten my belt. But how can you do this to your own grandson?”
Natalie didnt want to argue anymore.
“When people are desperate, theyre grateful for anything. If its not enough for you, then sort it out yourself.”
With that, she shut the door.
“Fine! I will! But remember thismen come and go, but its your children wholl bring you a glass of water in your old age. And you wont have that. When youre alone, youll think of me,” Kirsten spat through the door before her footsteps faded away.
Natalie leaned against the wall, biting her lip to keep from crying. The pain was unbearable, but the rift between them had been there for years. It was only now that the chasm had finally cracked open.
…Kirsten had always been spoiled. Grandparents doted on her, indulged her every whim, and her fatheroh, he was the worst of all. Didnt like a dress? Hed whisk her off to buy another. Smashed her phone in a tantrum? No problem, hed replace it with a better one. Wanted a dog? Of course, sweetheart, pick any breed.
No wonder Kirsten was a daddys girl. If Mum said no, she ran straight to himand he always said yes.
Her parents fought over it constantly. Nicholas was a loving husband and father, but when it came to discipline, he had no boundaries.
“Nick, why did you give her money for those concert tickets? At least ask me first!” Natalie fumed, hands on her hips. “I told her no. It wasnt about the moneyI wanted her to come help your mother in the garden, and do you know what she said? If you two care so much, you do it.”
Nick would just shrug, like always. “Come on, love. Think back to when we were her age. Let me spoil her while I can. Shell fly the nest soon enough.”
In a way, he was right.
Nick died when Kirsten was fourteen. And thats when everything truly fell apart. Kirsten had always been difficult, but after losing her father, she acted as if Natalie were to blame for everything. Caught a cold? “You brought it home from work, always letting sick clients in.” Dumped by a boyfriend? Also Mums faultbecause she wouldnt let Kirsten go clubbing. Failed her A-levels? Naturally, that was on Natalie too.
“Everyone else had tutors, but I had to manage on my own. No wonder my grades were rubbish,” Kirsten grumbled.
Not that Natalie expected her to get into a top university anyway. Shed set aside part of their savings years ago.
“I dont get why youre pushing for this degree,” her friend Emily said once. “No offence, but Kirstens not exactly academic. If she drops out in her first year, fine. But what if its third or fourth? Thats just wasted money.”
“She wants it. And its more for Nick than for her. Hed never forgive me if I sent her into the world with nothing.”
Natalie took on extra shifts to support them both. Colleagues called her a saint, a devoted mother. But the truth was, she was terrified of being alone. Kirsten was all she had.
At university, Kirsten announced she wanted to move outsharing a flat with a friend, apparently. Natalie protested, but what could she do? Kirsten was an adult now.
Later, it turned out the “friend” was called Mark. A year after that, Kirsten was pregnant.
“Mum, guess what? Were having a baby!” she gushed, breathless with excitement.
Natalie felt the air leave her lungs. Her legs threatened to buckle.
“Kirsten Neither of you have jobs. Where will you live? How will you afford this?”
“Oh, the government will help, Marks parents can chip in, youll help Hell find part-time work,” Kirsten said, as if it were all neatly sorted.
Natalie didnt like her place in that equation. Shed hoped to support Kirsten through university, then be done. Now it was clearthered be no end to it.
“Oh, and Mum” Kirsten added. “Tuition fees are due soon. Can you cover them?”
“What tuition? Youre planning to push a pram to lectures? Either take a gap year or sort out the baby. This isnt the right time.”
What followed was explosive. Kirsten accused her of hoarding the savings her father lefthalf of which, she claimed, shouldve been hers anyway. Then came the venomNatalie was a monster, trying to get rid of her own grandchild. In the end, Kirsten shoved her out the door.
Natalie thought shed cool off. But no. The next day, Kirsten had blocked her everywhere. Natalie knew where she lived, could have gone therebut she decided enough was enough. No more grovelling.
For a while, it felt like shed lost not just her daughter, but her purpose. But life had a way of filling empty spaces.
After Kirsten left, Natalie learned to live for herself. She joined a gym. Thats where she met James. He helped her with the weights, then offered her a lift home. One thing led to anotherand soon, they were married.
James was ten years older, a widower with a grown son, Thomas, his wife Lily, and their toddler, Oliver. Natalie didnt just gain a husbandshe gained a family. And they welcomed her warmly, especially Lily. To her, Natalie wasnt an overbearing mother-in-law, but a friend.
Oliver was special. Natalie doted on himtoys, homemade biscuits, trips to the zoo. At first, Lily only brought him over when she was in a bind, but soon, it became routine. Oliver would ask to visit, and Natalie never said no.
“Gran, can we feed the ducks today?” he asked once.
The pure, unfiltered love in his voice warmed her in ways shed forgotten existed.
Life had colour again. Meaning. And then, two years later, Kirsten reappeared.
Mark had decided fatherhood wasnt for him. Hed graduated, bounced between jobs, and after one too many fights about money, packed his bags and left.
But the baby was still there. And Kirsten needed somewhere to go.
Only now, Natalie decided it wasnt her problem. Especially when Kirsten returned not with apologies, but fresh demands”Youre my mother, you have to help.”
*When youre alone, youll think of me.* The words echoed in Natalies mind. Yes, it hurt. Like a piece of her heart had been ripped out. But shed survived it once. She could do it again.
Her phone buzzed. A message from Jamesasking what to pick up for dinner, suggesting a quiet evening in. Another from Lilya photo of three lopsided gingerbread men.
“Oliver made these at nursery. One for me, one for Dad, and one for you. Can we come over tonight?”
Natalie smiled. The warmth spread through her. So what now? A quiet night with James, or a house full of laughter?
It didnt matter. She loved both options. But there was something more important. Once, shed been so afraid of loneliness, shed put up with anything just to feel needed. Now she knewbeing needed wasnt the same as being loved.
No, she wasnt alone. And perhaps, she never would be again.
