**Diary Entry A Winters Hardship**
Young Tommy, sniffling in the cold, dragged a dry pine trunk on a large sledge. It had fallen near the edge of the villagetechnically not for taking, but old Bert, the local gamekeeper, had muttered to him, *”Wait till dark, then fetch it.”*
The boy strained, pulling with all his might.
*”Tom! Tommy!”* A voice called out. Sure enough, there she wasbright-eyed Lucy, his classmate.
*”What dyou want?”*
*”Let me help.”*
Where did this lass get her strength? But together, the load lightened. They heaved the sledge forward.
*”Whos watching the little ones, Tommy?”*
*”Gran, who else? Mums at work.”*
*”Oh I came by with your schoolwork, but your door was locked. Little Andy told me youd gone toward the woods. Said you told em to stay put.”*
*”Had to lock it”*
*”She run off again?”*
*”Aye back to *her* place, back to Mum.”*
*”Poor thing. Hurts herself, hurts you lot too.”*
*”Mm.”*
They hauled the wood to Tommys cottage.
*”Ta, Luce.”*
*”Dont mention it. Fetch the sawlets cut it quick.”*
*”Ill manage. Youve helped enough.”*
*”Oh, aye, *manage*hacking away with that old handsaw? Or we do it proper, right now.”*
Together, they sawed, and soon neat logs lay scattered on the ground.
Through the window, six-year-old Andy and two-year-old Annie peered out.
Tommy grabbed the axe, drove it clean through a log, splitting it with practiced strikes. Lucy gathered the chips while he worked.
Once the woodpile was ready, they carried it inside. Tommy lit the stove, and soon warmth seeped through the cottage, firelight dancing on the ceiling.
*”Let me make you some soup. Auntie Lizll be dead tired after workwont have to cook.”*
*”Nah, were fine,”* Tommy muttered, embarrassed. *”Granll do it.”*
*”No, no, Tommy!”* Andy piped up. *”Let Lucy cook! Remember last time Gran made that muck? Threw in cabbage, peas, even Mums dill seedsfit for pigs!”*
*”Ill cook. Andy, help.”*
*”Whose girl are you?”* A voice rasped from the stovean old woman in boots, a quilted coat, and a shawl.
*”Gran, get downits warm now.”*
*”Cold, Jimmy”*
*”Not Jimmy. Its Tommy, your grandson.”*
*”Eh? Wheres Jimmy, then?”*
*”Gone back soon.”*
*”She mean Uncle Jim?”*
*”Aye shes not right since he left.”*
*”Why didnt he take her? His own mother.”*
Tommy shrugged. He hated this talk.
JimToms father, Lizs husband. Left for his fancy woman. Not just abandoned Gran, but slit the pigs throats come winter, took the meat, drove off their only cow, even took little Daisy the heifer. Mum begged*”At least leave Daisy, well breed her back.”*
Hed laughed. *”What sort of groom turns up empty-handed?”*
Tommy hated him from that moment. Hated how hed halved their stores, taken sacks of potatoes, even divided the cutlery, counting each spoon while Mum stood silent.
Liz came home to find the children at the table by the oil lampTommy reading Andy a tale, Gran dozing by the stove, little Annie sucking her thumb in bed.
*”Mum,”* Andy whispered, *”its proper warm! Tommy got wood, him and Lucy chopped it, lit the stove. Lucy made soupproper good! Annies asleep. Gran ran off twicewe caught her.”*
Liz smiled faintly, ruffling Andys unruly hair.
*”Tommy you do too much.”*
*”Salright, Mum. Eatsoups good.”*
After supper, Liz mended clothes. A knock came at the window.
*”Tommy, see whos there.”*
The door blew open, cold air rushing in with a bundled-up woman.
*”Blimey, freezing! Reckon itll drop to minus two tonight. Liz, brought you some lard and a bit of bacon.”*
*”Ta, Val, but you shouldnt”*
*”Course I should. Flour left?”*
*”A bit.”*
*”Heretwo pints of milk, froze since winter, and some eggs. Well last till spring, then gardens planted, easier then. Dont fret over seed potatoesJohn said well spare some. And”* Val whispered something.
*”Val, what if they find out?”*
*”Who? Whod notice? Our sows due any daydont fret, Liz well manage.”*
Two nights later, Val smuggled in a piglet the size of a mitten. She worked at the village farm.
*”Val, what if they”*
*”They wont. Thirteen farrowedthisuns the strongest.”*
Next day, Liz was called to the office. She hugged the children.
*”Mum,”* Tommy wept, *”maybe itll blow over?”*
*”Dunno, love. Mind the little uns.”*
The foremana friend of Jimsavoided her eyes. *”Liz go to the farm. Take this chit for milk. Valll give you a piglettell her a good un. Maybe two?”*
*”Howll I feed”*
*”Milks sorted. Come April, the farmll give you a heifer. Take it?”*
*”Aye.”* Her lips were dry. *”Can I go?”*
*”Liz”* He stopped her at the door.
*”Aye?”*
*”Forgive me.”*
*”For what, Frank?”*
*”For Jim. Never thought hed turn out such a rotter. A flings one thing, but leaving you lot, stripping the place only just heard. Whyd you stay quiet? Spuds left?”*
*”Some.”*
*”Right. Need firewoodjust ask.”*
So Liz carried onkids, Gran (who scarcely knew her own name), Tommy doing a mans work, Lucy (the foremans daughter) helping where she could, even little Andy pitching in.
The piglet thrived, soon joined by two morelittle curly-tailed rascals.
Walking home, a neighbor called out.
*”Liz”*
*”Aye, Mrs. Clark?”*
*”Let Tommy fix my roof, eh? Ill paygot lard from last autumn”*
*”No, ta. Wont have him working for scraps. Were not starving.”*
*”Liz heard from Molly Ippertonsaw your Jim with that hussy. Laughing on a sled, him driving, her clinging on while his kids go hungry!”*
*”Who says were hungry? Were fine!”*
Liz hurried off.
*”Fine? Youre blue with cold, the lot of you! Jim took everything”*
She fled to the shed, wept silentlythen heard scratching at the door.
*”Mum? You in there?”*
*”Liz Im a burden. When Im clear-headed, I know tired you all out.”*
*”What? Whatre you”* Liz snatched the rope from Grans hands. *”How could you? Whatve I done to you, Mum?”*
They cried together, Grans tears tracing her weather-beaten face.
*”Come inside. Well bake today.”*
*”Aye, love.”*
Come spring, Gran took to her bed, calling for her son.
*”Val dont know what to do. Shes asking for Jim. I cant fetch him.”*
*”Ill tell John”*
Jim never came. Sent money for the funeral, muttered to John, *”For the burying.”*
The village judged him, of course. But what did he care? When he left for that Bess, tongues wagged then too. Liz was dull, hed say*married her in a daft moment.* Bess was fire.
First time hed seen Liztiny, shy, fresh from the city. Easy to push down, easy to claim. Other lasses fought backshed just cried, clutching her nightdress.
Then she swelled with child. What, was he a monster? Grew up fatherless himselfso he married her.
Came to love her, even. Good wife, got on with his mum, kept things tidy. Maybe maybe she loved him.
Second babe came when he met Bessripe, bold, smelling of hay. Thought itd be a fling. But she coiled round him like a snake.
He leftstepped off a cliff. Loved his kids, *loved* them. But Bess said shed give him new ones.
Tommy turned away in the streetknife to the heart. The little ones barely remembered him. What could he do? Hed fallen in love
They called him a devilorphaned his kids, left his mum to die. Couldnt face Lizs quiet eyes. That winter, hed taken everything in a rage. Now? *Let em judge. Whos seen inside my soul?*
Jim knelt by the fresh mound, the cross with its white cloth.
*”Forgive me, Mum”*
*”She did, Jim at the end, she knew.”* Liz stood behind him.
*”Youwhatre you doing here?”*
*”Brought you food. Christian custom Drink. Remember her.”*
Silence.
*”Ill go. You talk to her.”*
*”Will she hear?”*
*”Shell hear, Jim. A mothers heart does. Lifes just life. Twists you where it will.”*
