“She’ll regret this!”
Thats what Edward thought when his wife unexpectedly announced she was filing for divorce. Just yesterday, everything had been fineshed been washing his socks and ironing his shirts, and now? Divorce papers! And for no reason at all! Edward worked hard, never raised a hand to her, hardly ever went out, and drank in moderation.
“What more did she bloody want?!” he fumed. “Found herself another man, has she? The stupid cow! Shell regret this! Shell come crawling back in tears! Ill show her! Just waitshell realise, but itll be too late!”
While he stewed in anger, his wife, Emily, kept repeating the same things shed been saying for years:
“Im exhausted carrying everything on my back! I work, clean, cook, look after the kidsIm done! Ive done the mathsyou cost more than you bring in! When you vanished for three days last month, I realised how much easier life was without you! The house is cleaner, quieterI dont have to cook for you! Me and Jack dont need fried meat every night! When youre gone, even the stove stays clean because I can make a stew and know it wont vanish in one sitting! I just want my life to be easier! Im tired! Ive turned into some exhausted woman with bags under her eyes! I dont even recognise myself when youre around! You make me feel ashamed, drained, and miserable!”
“When was the last time you read Jack a book? Never? When did you take him to the park? Bathe him? What does he hear from you besides ‘Go away, Im tired’? Do you even know what school hes starting? His teachers name? When he had his first swimming lesson? You dont care! You live in the same house but never talk to him! All he sees is either a drunk dad sprawled on the sofa with a beer or a sleeping one! What kind of example is that? Whats the point of you?! Do you even remember his birthday? No? Then why should I stay?”
“Doesnt she get sick of repeating herself?” Edward had wondered just yesterday. Emilys rants had become a nightly routine while he shoveled down whatever shed cooked straight from the pan. “Just typical nagging,” hed dismissed. “Bored housewife with too much time on her hands.”
But nowdivorce! Out of nowhere!
“Shell regret it! Thinks shes found someone better? A washed-up, thirty-year-old mum! Ill walk out, and shell beg me back in two days! And Ill think twice before saying yes!”
“Ive packed your things. I cant stand the sight of you anymore. Get out.”
“Fine!” Edward swallowed the last of his sausage. “Ill go! But whether I come backthats another question!”
He gave her one last chance to change her mindlingering by the door, shuffling his bags, taking ages with his shoes. But she didnt budge. “Stubborn woman!” he seethed, regretting not eating more before storming out.
With no other choice, he went to his mums. She launched into the same old scriptWhat happened? Why did she throw you out? It cant be for no reason!
“Oh, it can! She just kicked me out for nothing!” Edward defended. “I did everything for that family! Worked my fingers to the bone! Brought money home! But it was never enough! Always new boots, new coatsshe wants some rich bloke! Probably already found one, the ungrateful cow!”
His mum gasped, calling Emilybut no one summoned Edward back.
“Fine! Shell regret it! Wheres she going to find another man like me? Whod want a single mum?” he rationalised, grabbing discounted beer at the shop.
At the first court hearing, Emily looked polishednew haircut, maybe makeup. Smiling, answering questions nervously: no real family for years, no help, no support, no involvement with Jack. “Just lies,” Edward muttered, hands shaking. He needed a drink but didnt dare before court.
The judgea woman, of coursesmirked.
“Do you drink excessively?”
“I barely touch the stuff!” Edward lied. “Two pints max after work! This is stressmy wife left me!”
“Right,” she said dryly, ordering three months of reconciliation.
Edward glared at Emilystill not sorry?
“God, you reek of booze,” she wrinkled her nose. Clearly not.
“Fine, Ill wait,” he decided. “Lets see how she begs in three months! Shell crawl back!” He relished the fantasyEmily pleading, him refusing, only returning on his terms.
But those three months passed without a wordno calls, no texts, as if he didnt exist. “Must have someone else!” Yet friends and social media revealed nothing.
At the next hearing, Edward expected victory. “Shell be sobbing!” he told his mum. “Shell drop the case any minute!”
But Emily was calm, firm. Still wanted the divorce. “Shes waiting for me to beg!” Edward sneered. “Not happening!”
Then, just like thatit was over. Edward didnt object. Until the judge asked about Jack.
“With me,” Emily said. “His fathers never cared. Ask himwhens Jacks birthday?”
“Edward James, when is your sons birthday?” the judge smirked.
Edward fumbled for the papers.
“No peeking!” she taunted. A man would never have asked.
“Third of June!” he blurted.
“Its today. Jacks seven today,” Emily said flatly. “Sixth of June.”
“Did you even wish him happy birthday on the third?” the judge quipped.
“Bloody feminists,” Edward seethed. No answer.
“Any objections to custody arrangements?”
“No!” he snapped.
Of course, the “man-hating” court gave Emily full custody. “And now alimony,” he groanedbut perked up. “Now shell break!”
Yet outside, Emily was laughing with a friend.
“Tanya! Fancy seeing you here!”
“Just court stuff. You?”
“Finally free!” she grinned.
Edward gaped. “Her lifes ruined, and shes giggling?! Shes mental!”
He stormed over.
“I thought youd be crying! You dont even care?! Youll regret this! Ill sue for the house! For Jack! Youll see!”
“The house was my nans,” Emily said coolly. “And since when do you care about Jack?”
“Since when?! You ruined this family! Took my son! Youll die alone with forty cats!”
Long after shed left, Edward kept muttering, “Shell regret this.”
But as days passed, the truth sank inshe never would. And that was the hardest lesson of all.
