“He married you out of pity,” her sister said before leaving the kitchen.
“Katies school called again,” Marina set her cup down so sharply that tea sloshed over the rim. “Her teacher says shes stopped paying attention in class completely. Sits there like a ghost.”
Lena flinched, setting aside the knife shed been using to peel potatoes. Her sister stood in the doorway, arms crossed, with that familiar expressionthe one she always wore before delivering unpleasant news.
“Maybe shes just tired? The curriculums difficult these days,” Lena replied softly, picking up another potato.
“Tired?” Marina scoffed. “Whats she got to be tired about? James spoils her rotten, and you tiptoe around her like shes fragile. And for what? All she brings home are failing marks and notes in her planner.”
Lena stayed silent. It was trueKatie had changed after she and James married. Once lively and talkative, shed turned quiet and withdrawn. Her teachers used to praise her, her classmates adored her. Now
“You know what I think?” Marina stepped closer, taking a seat across from her. “Katie sees right through it. Kids sense dishonesty better than adults.”
“See through what?” Lena looked up.
“That this marriage of yours is one big lie. You think she doesnt notice how you and James act around each other? Like strangers sharing a roof.”
Lenas chest tightened. The potato slipped from her fingers, splashing back into the water.
“We get along fine.”
“Come off it! Ive got eyes. You dont even argue properlyjust exist side by side. James comes home, eats dinner, watches telly. You cook, clean, tidy up. Like flatmates, not husband and wife.”
“Not every couple has to bicker,” Lena kept her voice steady. “Maybe were just peaceful people.”
Marina shook her head.
“Lena, stop lying to yourself. Youve seen how James looks at youor rather, how he doesnt. You walk into a room, and he wont even glance up from his paper.”
It was true. Shed noticed but never let herself linger on it. James barely acknowledged hera nod in the morning, a question about supper at night. Conversations were purely practical, no warmth, no smiles.
“Remember how he used to look at Olivia?” Marina pressed.
Lena stiffened. Her sister rarely mentioned Jamess first wife.
“Dont.”
“I will. You saw them together. How he doted on her when she was ill. Couldnt take his eyes off her. Hands shook when the doctor spoke. Now? You could be bedridden, and he wouldnt fetch you so much as a paracetamol.”
Lena stood, moving to the window. Rain tapped against the glass, streaks blurring the world outside. She remembered the day James proposedsix months after Olivias funeral. Theyd been sitting at this very table, drinking tea while Katie slept. After a long silence, hed said:
*”Lena will you marry me? Katie needs a mother. And I I cant do this alone.”*
No declaration of love. No romance. Just a solution to a practical problem.
“He married you out of pity,” Marina said, then walked out.
Lena stayed by the window, the words echoing. *Out of pity.* Maybe it was true. James had pitied hera woman past thirty, alone, with no husband or children of her own. And shed pitied hima widower with a little girl. Now they were left with a hollow marriage, devoid of love. And Katie was suffering most of all.
Returning to the table, Lena picked up the knife again, hands trembling. She thought of the night shed accepted Jamess proposal. Back then, shed believed love might grow in time. That being needed was enough.
Two years had passed. Nothing changed. James remained polite, gratefulbut cold. Sometimes she caught him staring at Olivias photo in the sitting room, his face softening in a way it never did for her.
The front door clicked. Katie was home. The girl slipped straight to her room without a wordno cheerful greetings, no stories about her day.
Lena followed. Katie sat at her desk, hunched over a textbook, but her eyes werent moving.
“Sweetheart, how was school?”
“Fine,” she muttered, not looking up.
“Need help with your homework?”
“No. Ill manage.”
Lena perched on the beds edge. Katie still wouldnt meet her gaze.
“Darling, whats wrong? You hardly talk to me anymore.”
Finally, the girl lifted her head. Her eyes held a sadness too old for her years.
“Whats the point?” Katie whispered. “Youll leave soon anyway.”
“Why would I leave?”
“Because Dad doesnt love you,” she said simply. “He only loved Mum. He just puts up with you.”
The words lodged in Lenas throat. So the child *did* understand. Had been carrying this weight in silence, afraid of losing someone else.
“Katie, Im not going anywhere. I promised, didnt I?”
“But youre unhappy. Ive seen you crying at night when you think no one hears.”
Lena had no reply. She *had* criednot from anger, but from the crushing weight of living a life that wasnt hers.
That evening, after James returned from work, Lena waited. They ate in silence. Katie bolted her food and vanished upstairs. James settled in his armchair, telly murmuring in the background.
“James, we need to talk.”
He muted the TV, frowning. “Something wrong?”
“Katies school rang today. Her grades are slipping.”
“Right. What do you suggest?”
Lena sat opposite him, hands folded. “I think its not about school. I think she senses somethings off between us.”
“Dont follow.”
“Were not a family. Were just two people sharing a house.”
Jamess brow furrowed. “Lena, I dont see the issue. Katies fed, clothed, cared for”
“But she doesnt have happy parents,” Lena said quietly. “Children feel that.”
James turned toward the window. “What do you want me to say?”
“The truth. Why did you marry me?”
Silence. The clock ticked. The fridge hummed.
“Because Katie needed a mother,” he finally said. “And I needed someone to keep house. Youre a good cook. Tidy. Katie likes you.”
“What about love?”
He looked at her then, something like regret in his eyes. “Lena, I never promised love. I told you why I needed a wife.”
True. He hadnt. Shed mistaken his bluntness for shyness, assumed feelings would come later.
“If Olivia were alive” she began.
His face changed. Softened.
“But shes not.”
“Answer me.”
“If Olivia were alive, Id never have remarried,” he said simply.
There it was. The truth shed feared. Shed always be seconda placeholder.
“James, what if I left?”
He blinked. “Why? This works fine.”
“For *you.* Not for me. Not for Katie.”
“Katies fine. Its just a phase.”
“No. Shes clever. She knows whats happening. And its hurting her.”
James stood, pacing. “What do you want, Lena? For me to force myself to love you? Thats not how it works.”
“I dont want forced love. I want you to let me find someone wholl love me properly.”
He stopped. “And Katie?”
“She stays with you. But she needs a father whos presentnot stuck in the past.”
A long silence. Then James sank back into his chair.
“Where will you go?”
“Marinas, until I find work and a flat.”
“I wont file for divorce.”
“I will.”
Another pause.
“What do I tell Katie?”
“The truth. That adults make mistakes. That well always be friends, just not together.”
James nodded. “Alright. Maybe youre right.”
Lena didnt sleep that night. Fear gnawed at herof starting over. But greater still was the terror of spending a lifetime as a replacement.
In the morning, she knocked on Katies door before school.
“Sweetheart, I need to tell you something.”
Katie eyed her warily.
“Im leaving. Not because I dont love you. But because sometimes grown-ups realise theyve made the wrong choice.”
Silence.
“Youll stay with Dad. Ill be nearby. Well still see each otherwhenever you like.”
“And Dad?” Katie whispered.
“Hell be alright. He needs time to figure things out too.”
Suddenly, Katie hugged her.
“Lena, will you find a nice man? One who loves you properly?”
“I dont know, darling. But Ill try to be happy.”
“Good. I didnt like it when you cried.”
Lena packed lightlyjust essentials. James saw her to the door.
“Lena,” he said awkwardly. “Thank you. For these two years. Youre a good woman. Youll find someone better.”
“And youll learn to live in the present, not the past,” she replied.
Marina hugged her without questions. “Well done. Better late than never.”
That evening, Katie called.
“Lena, guess what? Dad took Mums photo down today. Said it was time. And he booked me a therapistsaid I should talk about everything.”
“Thats good, sweetheart.”
“He also said youre really brave. And that hes proud to have known you.”
For the first time in years, Lena smiledtruly smiled.
Maybe Marina was right. Maybe James *had* married her out of pity. But she didnt need pity anymore. She needed love. And now, at last, she had a chance to find it.
