“He married you out of pity,” said her sister before walking out of the kitchen.
“Emilys school called again,” Marina set her teacup down so sharply the liquid sloshed over the rim. “Her teacher says shes stopped paying attention completely. Sits there like a ghost.”
Lena flinched, putting down the knife shed been using to peel potatoes. Her sister stood in the doorway, arms crossed, wearing that familiar expressionone Lena had known since childhood. Marina always looked like that just before saying something cruel.
“Maybe shes just tired? The curriculums difficult these days,” Lena murmured, picking up another potato.
“Tired?” Marina scoffed. “Of what? James spoils her rotten, and you tiptoe around her like shes fragile. And whats the result? Poor marks and warnings in her school diary.”
Lena stayed silent. Emily had changed after she and James marriedwithdrawn, quiet. She used to be so lively, so quick to laugh. Teachers praised her; classmates adored her. But now
“You know what I think?” Marina moved closer, sitting across from her. “Emily knows. Children sense dishonesty better than adults.”
“What are you talking about?” Lena lifted her gaze.
“That this marriage of yours is a sham,” Marina said calmly, though her voice had an edge. “You think she doesnt notice how you and James act around each other? Like strangers sharing a roof.”
Lena felt something tighten inside her. The potato slipped from her fingers and splashed into the water.
“We get along fine.”
“Oh, please! Im not blind. You dont even argue properlyjust coexist. James comes home, eats dinner, watches telly. You cook, clean, do the laundry. Like strangers in a shared flat.”
“Not every couple needs to fight,” Lena kept her voice steady. “Maybe were just quiet people.”
Marina shook her head.
“Lena, stop lying to yourself. Youve seen the way James looks at youor rather, how he doesnt. When you walk into a room, he doesnt even glance up from his paper.”
It was true. Lena had noticed long ago but refused to dwell on it. James barely seemed aware of hera nod in the morning, a question about dinner in the evening. Conversations were practical, devoid of warmth.
“Remember how he used to look at Olivia?” Marina pressed. “When she was still alive?”
Lena stiffened. Her sister rarely mentioned Jamess first wife.
“Dont.”
“I have to. You remember them together. How he doted on her when she was ill. Couldnt take his eyes off her. Now? If you caught a cold, he wouldnt even fetch you an aspirin.”
Lena stood, walking to the window. Rain tapped against the glass, grey streaks sliding down. She remembered the day James proposedsix months after Olivias funeral. Theyd been drinking tea in the kitchen while Emily slept. After a long silence, hed said:
“Lena will you marry me? Emily needs a mother. And I I cant do this alone.”
No declaration of love. No tenderness. Just a practical solution to a problem.
“He married you out of pity,” Marina said, then left.
Lena stayed by the window, the words echoing in her mind. Out of pity. Maybe it was true. James had pitied hera woman in her thirties, alone, childless. And shed pitied hima widower with a little girl. Now they were a family without love, without warmth. And Emily suffered most of all.
Lena returned to the table, picking up the knife again. Her hands shook. She thought of the night shed accepted Jamess proposal. Back then, it had felt rightlike love might come later. Like being needed was enough.
But two years had passed, and nothing changed. James remained polite, grateful, but cold. Sometimes Lena caught him staring at Olivias photo in the living roomhis face softening in a way it never did for her.
The front door clicked. Emily was home from school. The girl went straight to her room without stopping in the kitchen. Once, shed always rushed in to chatter about her day. Now, silence.
Lena followed her. Emily sat at her desk, hunched over a textbookthough Lena could tell she wasnt reading.
“Em, how was school?”
“Fine,” Emily mumbled without looking up.
“Need help with your homework?”
“M fine.”
Lena perched on the edge of the bed. Emily still wouldnt meet her eyes.
“Sweetheart, whats wrong? You barely talk to me anymore.”
Finally, the girl looked up. Her eyes held a sadness too old for her years.
“Why bother?” Emily whispered. “Youll leave anyway.”
“Why would I leave?”
“Because Dad doesnt love you.” She said it simply, as if stating the weather. “He only loved Mum. Youre just here.”
Lenas throat tightened. So Emily understood everything. And suffered in silence, fearing shed lose another person she cared about.
“I wont leave. I promised.”
“But youre unhappy. Ive seen you cry at night when you think no ones listening.”
Lena had no answer. She had criednot from anger, but from the slow realisation that she was living someone elses life, playing a role never meant for her.
That evening, when James returned from work, Lena hesitated before speaking. They ate in silence. Emily finished quickly and vanished upstairs. James switched on the telly.
“James we need to talk.”
He muted the TV, frowning. “Whats wrong?”
“School called. Emilys struggling.”
“Right. What do you suggest?”
Lena sat opposite him, hands folded. “Do you think its really about school? Or does she sense somethings not right between us?”
“I dont follow.”
“Were not a family. Were two people sharing a house.”
James stiffened. “Lena, I dont know what youre getting at. Emilys fed, clothed, cared for”
“But she doesnt have happy parents. Children feel that.”
James turned to the window. “What do you want me to say?”
“The truth. Why did you marry me?”
A long pause. The clock ticked. The fridge hummed.
“Emily needed a mother,” he said at last. “I needed someone to run the house. Youre a good cook. You keep things tidy. Emily likes you.”
“And love?”
James met her eyes, his gaze almost apologetic. “Lena, I never promised you love. I told you why I needed a wife.”
True. He hadnt. But Lena had assumed it was just awkwardnessthat feelings would come. Instead, thered been nothing.
“If Olivia were still alive would you have married me?”
His face changedsoftened in a way it never did for her.
“But shes not.”
“Answer me.”
“If Olivia were alive, Id never have remarried.”
There it was. The truth shed feared. Shed always be seconda placeholder.
“James what if I left?”
He blinked. “Why? This works.”
“For you. Not for me. Or Emily.”
“Its just a phase. Shes a teenager.”
“No. Shes clever. She knows whats happening. And its hurting her.”
James stood, pacing. “What do you want, Lena? For me to love you on demand? It doesnt work like that.”
“I dont want forced love. I want to be free to find someone wholl love me properly.”
He stopped. “And Emily?”
“She stays with you. But she needs a father who lives in the present, not the past.”
Silence. Then James sat back down.
“Where will you go?”
“Marinas, until I find work and a flat.”
“I wont file for divorce.”
“I will.”
Another pause.
“What do I tell Emily?”
“The truth. That adults make mistakes. That well always care for her, even apart.”
James nodded. “Alright. Maybe youre right.”
Lena didnt sleep that night. She lay awake, terrified of starting overbut more terrified of spending her life as a replacement.
In the morning, she went to Emilys room.
“Sweetheart, I need to tell you something.”
Emily eyed her warily.
“Im leaving. But not because I dont love you. Because sometimes adults realise theyve made the wrong choice.”
Silence.
“Youll live with Dad. Ill be nearby. You can call or visit anytime.”
“What about Dad?” Emily whispered.
“Hell be fine. He needs time to figure things out too.”
Suddenly, Emily hugged her.
“Lena will you find a nice man? One who loves you properly?”
“I dont know, sweetheart. But Ill try to be happy.”
“Good. I hated seeing you cry.”
Lena packed quicklyjust essentials. James walked her to the door.
“Lena thank you. Youre a good woman. Youll find someone better.”
“And youll learn to live in the present, not the past.”
Marina hugged her without questions. “Well done. Better late than never.”
That evening, Emily called.
“Lena? Dad took Mums photo down today. Said it was time. And he booked me a therapist. Said I should talk about everything.”
“Thats good, sweetheart.”
“And he said youre brave. That hes proud to have known you.”
Lena smiledproperly, for the first time in years.
Maybe Marina was right. James had married her out of pity. But Lena no longer needed pity. She needed love. And now, at last, she had the chance to find it.
