**What You Cut Short, You Cant Retrieve**
When Tanya showed her wedding photos to friends, shed always add with a laugh,
*”Oh, the agony of this dress! Gorgeous, yes, but heavier than a sack of potatoes! Next time I marry, Ill pick something light and airy.”*
Everyone assumed she was jokingand chuckled along. Tanya *was* joking. Her friends knew shed married for love. It had been a whirlwind holiday romance. She was 21; Oliver, 28.
August, the Cornish coast, sparkling wine, starry skiesall the ingredients for a hasty registry office visit. Though Oliver had to divorce his second wife first, and Tanya had to relocate to his hometown.
*LondonBristolLondon.* That route would become achingly familiar to Tanya for the next decade.
But first, the newlyweds rented a flat. Oliver had handed his old flat to Wife Number Two, whod threatened to swallow pills, douse Wife Number Three in bleach, or leap out a window if he dared leave her. Eventually, though, she quieted down. Maybe Oliver promised to return? As for Wife Number Onebest not to dwell. That marriage lasted eighteen months. They simply didnt gel. Later, Oliver even played matchmaker, handing her off to his best mate. Everyone happy. Himself included.
Wife Number Two stuck around longer. Three years was enough for Oliver to grasp her peculiarities. A woman who refused to have “ankle-biters”her charming term for children.
Tanya wasnt bothered by these sagas. Not one bit. She was self-assured, ambitious, and utterly convinced of her own brilliance. Oliver adored her. If he bought flowers, they were bouquets; if a coat, then three. Shoes? Dont ask. Tanya couldve worn a new pair daily. He whisked her off to Paris, Rome, the Cotswoldsbroadening her horizons before their first child arrived.
Soon, little Emily was born. While Tanya fussed over her, Oliver bought a cottage and kitted it out. Everything for his girls!
They celebrated the move. Emily started nursery.
Tanya threw herself into studyingpreferably back in London, near friends, her mum, and those comforting city lindens. She left Emily with her mother-in-law, who doted on the girl. During term time, Tanya stayed in London. Oliver, riddled with jealousy, kept “accidentally” turning up*in another city!* Not that Tanya gave him reason to worry. Or so it seemed
Truth was, she longed to escape domestic drudgery. Shed study forever if it meant no dishes, no husband, no childcare. Life was short, and why should sheclever, beautiful *her*waste it on trivialities?
Eventually, Tanya had three red-ribboned diplomas in her handbag (psychology, mainly). She hunted jobs eagerly. Oliver objected:
*”Were not short of cash! Ill go mad waiting for you! Tanya, lets have anotherboy or girl, I dont care. Just stay close.”*
Tanya saw no more children in her future. Mission accomplished: a daughter for Oliver, a life for Emily. What more? Her mother-in-law, weary of Tanyas lofty musings, offered to raise Emily full-time. *”The girl needs love, not a mother whod rather float in the clouds.”*
Tanya agreed without a blinkthen bolted to London without telling Oliver. *”Ill call from there,”* she decided.
But in London, Oliver was waiting. Hed learned her tricks.
*”Tanya, wheres Emily? Why arent you in Bristol? Is there someone else?”*
*”Dont be silly, Olly! No admirers. Im just bored. I want freedom.”*
*”From me? From Emily? What happened to love?”*
*”Gone. We wont fix this.”*
Oliver begged her mother for help. She shrugged. *”You wont change her. Stubborn as a oak.”*
He returned to Bristol alone, baffled. *”No good deed goes unpunished,”* he muttered.
Weeks passed. Tanya never visited. Her calls were curt: *”Im fine.”*
Finally, Oliver sold the cottage, took Emily, and moved to Londonto salvage his family.
Tanya was frosty. *”Why unsettle Emily? New school, no friends Her gran wont like it.”*
Excuses. Tanya was reveling in freedom. *”Live like a bird,”* her new motto. Shed launched a dressmaking business, rented a flat, had admirersno time to miss husband or child. The past felt like someone elses life.
Oliver ignored her, clinging to hope. Hed meet Tanya after work, bring Emily (her spitting image). Useless. Tanya was a statue. Finally, she snapped:
*”Oliver, leave me alone! Lets divorce. Emily can stay with me.”*
Emily was 11 now. She didnt need “staying with.” She had a doting dad, a gran who prayed for her nightly. She remembered her mum. Loved her. Couldnt fathom why shed vanished.
Time ticks on. Unstoppable.
Oliver stopped “fishing on dry land.” Hed never reach Tanyas heart.
Fate gave him a down-to-earth woman. No Paris trips, no sixty pairs of heels. *”Wellies for the muddy garden, a warm coat for the chickens, and the kids set right.”* That was her dream.
Oliver found peace beside her. *”Where its simple, angels dwell.”* Soon, they had a daughter. True happinessfourth time lucky. The first three marriages? Best forgotten.
Tanya lives with her mum. A business partner once promised her the moon, then swindled her. The dressmaking venture folded. Her suitors vanished.
*”Many called, none stayed.”* She works as a school psychologist now. All that studying paid off. No regrets. Though who knows what lurks in the heart? Maybe even a “skybird” like Tanya feels a twinge someday.
Emily, now grown, lives with her husband and granthe woman who raised herin Bristol.
At her wedding, she wore a light, airy dress. A gift from Mum. Tanya.
