“Between us, there are no secrets,”
“Jenny! Jen, why have you stopped dead in your tracks like that? Hurry up, or well miss the film! We still need to grab popcorn,” called her friend Becky.
“Huh?” Jenny blinked, startled, her heart suddenly pounding.
“Whats wrong with you? Come on, the lads are already waiting!” Becky huffed, impatient.
“Becks, listenI really dont feel well. You go ahead without me. Ill head back to the halls,” Jenny muttered.
“Should I call an ambulance? Youve gone completely pale,” Becky fretted.
“No, no Just apologise to Stevie for me, yeah?” Jenny tried to sound calm, but her voice wavered.
“Alright then. Go lie down. Probably just exam nerves,” Becky sighed.
“Yeah, probably,” Jenny forced a weak smile.
Becky left, glancing back a few times. Jenny slumped onto a bench, gulped some water, and wiped her face. She felt a little better.
She hadnt told Becky what had rattled her. It wasnt exams. A few minutes earlier, a pregnant woman with a pram and two toddlers had walked past. Becky hadnt noticed, but Jenny She rubbed her cheeks, her mind catapulted ten years back.
“Jenny, whats taking so long with the washing-up? Hurry up, I still need you to fetch nappies,” snapped her mum, barging into the kitchen.
Jenny dropped a plate. It clattered into the sink. A wail erupted from the bedroomlittle baby George had been startled awake.
“Clumsy oaf! Now go and settle him. I just got him down!” her mother shouted.
“Alright” Jenny croaked, shuffling to the cot.
Jenny was the eldest in a family where Dad had vanished before she turned two. Mum cycled through boyfriends, having a child with each. The chores and childcarelooking after Annie, Molly, Tommy, and Georgefell to Jenny.
“Has he gone back to sleep?” Mum asked, cracking open a jar of jam.
“Mmm” Jenny mumbled, turning back to the dishes.
“Leave those, fetch the nappies. You can finish the washing-up after school.”
“But Mum, Ill be late again. My form tutors already fed up.”
“Ten minutes wont kill you. I used to skip school altogether, and look at mestill standing,” Mum retorted.
On her way back with the nappies, Jenny ran into classmates licking ice creams.
“Oi, lookits Mummy Jenny,” one of them sneered.
The nickname had stuck ever since shed been spotted pushing her siblings in a pram. She longed to be carefreehanging out, watching films, reading books, chatting about crushesnot hauling nappies. She didnt hate her siblings, but she resented her mother.
At eighteen, Jenny dreamed of freedomuniversity, moving to a bigger city. After maternity leave with George, Mum went back to work.
Then, one May morning, Jenny found her mother pale and queasy.
“Mum, are you ill?”
“Yeah. Sick as a dog. Fry some eggs for breakfast. The thought of food makes me heave.”
“Whats wrong?” Jennys voice shook.
“Oh, dont be daft. Im pregnant. Me and Uncle Dave are having a kid.”
“But Mum, youre forty.”
“Like I had a choice. Daves dead set on it. Oh, and hes moving in. Well have to squeeze up. Now go fry those eggs.”
That was the final straw. Jenny aced her exams, packed her bags, and left in a blaze of arguments.
City life was a fresh start. A part-time job, new friends. She vowed never to have childrento live for herself.
“Miss? Are you alright?” A mans voice snapped her back to the present.
“Sorry, what?”
“You looked a bit peaky.”
“Just tired, I suppose. Havent slept well.”
“Well, how about a coffee to perk you up? Theres a nice little café round the corner.”
Jenny agreed. The strangerAndrewwas warm and easy to talk to. They hit it off, started dating. But as their romance deepened, Jenny spiralled into inexplicable dread. Marriage? Maybe. Children? No. The thought sent her into panic.
One evening, Andrew took her to a posh restaurant. She braced herselfhed propose, and shed have to say no.
He slid a velvet ring box across the table.
“Jen, I love you. I want you to be my wife. But before you answer theres something you should know.”
“Go on,” she whispered, her vision blurring.
“I cant have children. Its definite. If you marry me, I need you to understandI couldnt handle adoption either.” His voice trembled.
“Ill marry you,” she blurted, tears spilling.
“Are you sure?”
“Dead sure. Ive got things to tell you too, but not here. Just knowI dont want kids. Never have, never will.”
They married, moved away. Her mother and siblings didnt even know where she lived now. Shed cut ties, relishing life with Andrew.
Finally, she was happy. Some might call it odd, but happiness is different for everyone. Their cosy home was peacefulAndrew in a steady job, Jenny running the little art studio shed always dreamed of.
Evenings were for tea on the balcony, chatting about nothing. No drama, no upheavals. Some friends didnt get it, but Jenny didnt care. This was her dream.
Sometimes she remembered her childhood, but the memories didnt hurt anymore. They were just part of her storythe one that led her here, to Andrews smile, to this quiet, contented life.
And she knewshed made the right choice.
