The Accidental Wedding
Summer was scorching, and Lydia strolled around her flat in a swimsuit. Why not? She lived alonewhen she fancied going bare, she did. Besides, her long-awaited holiday had arrived, and if her two best mates managed to wrangle even a week off from their boss, theyd dash straight to the seaside together.
One morning, Lydia wandered into the kitchen to put the kettle on when she suddenly felt eyes on her. Glancing across the street at the house opposite, about twenty metres away, she spotted a middle-aged man watching her keenly from his balcony. Though not completely exposed, she still grabbed a towel to cover herself. From then on, the stranger tracked her every move. The easy days were overnow she had to wear a dressing gown in the sweltering heat. Her kitchen didnt even have air conditioning.
One day, she stepped outside and looked up to the fifth floor of the neighbouring building. The man was in his usual spot. Lydia waved him down. He pointed at himself*Me?* She nodded. Who else?
He arrived quicklystocky, with curly hair, though a shiny bald patch gleamed on top.
*”Blimey,”* she thought. *”Hes even uglier up close.”*
“Hello,” he said, dipping his head slightly with a grin.
“Hi,” she replied. “Whyve you been staring at me?”
“Are we on first-name terms already?” He floundered, caught off guard by her bluntness.
“After seeing me in a swimsuit, youd better marry me.”
“Wouldnt say no,” he answered casually.
“When shall we file the papers, then?” she teased.
“How about now? Got my ID right here.” He patted the pocket of his vest and studied her. Lydia checked her handbag.
“Mines here too.”
“Shall we?”
“Fine,” she shrugged. *What am I doing?* she wondered in the taxi, but she didnt turn back. They submitted the forms. Only at the registry office did they exchange names. The manGeoffrey. Geoffrey Wilkes.
“Where to next? Shame my cars in the garage, but”
“Nowhere. Home. And dont look at me like thatno courting period. Straight into married life after signing.”
“What on earth do you want with him?” her friends gasped when Lydia announced the wedding, set for a month later. “Are you daft?”
“Relax, we can always withdraw the application.”
“And what about him? Hell be heartbroken.”
“His problem. Shouldnt gawk at strange women.”
“Youre single, not strange. Lydia, you dont even love him.”
“And what good did love do for you and yours?”
“Now I hate him.”
“Exactly. I dont love him now, but maybe I wont be able to live without him later.”
Geoffrey kept watching his fiancée, baffled by her odd behaviournot that he was any better. A total stranger, yet hed follow her anywhere, all because she was stunning. He noticed Lydia avoided the kitchen now, aware of his prying eyes. So he hid behind the curtains, still watching. And it paid off.
One day, he spotted her lugging a huge suitcase before vanishing round the corner.
*”No wonder she wont let me nearone last fling before the wedding. Well, lets see if shes worth marrying.”*
He threw on clothes, stuffed a wad of cash into his trouser pocketno time to packand raced to the airport. He spotted Lydia instantly, standing with her mates. They flew to Brighton; Geoffrey booked the same flight but left hours later.
*”Where do I even start? A million places she could be,”* he grumbled, sitting on the pebbled beach. *”What a wasted trip.”*
Thena familiar swimsuit. Was that her? It was.
*”Jackpot!”*
The girls sipped white wine on the beach, completely oblivious. Lydia had no clue her fiancé knew where she was. He found their hotel, checked in unnoticed, and kept watch. No men aroundjust her letting loose. He was satisfied.
Until they bumped into each other on the street. Lydia, remembering the best defence is offence, snapped:
“So this is how we prepare for marriage? Lounging on beaches?”
“Pot, kettle. Youre not here on business either.”
“Didnt see you around, so I thought Id relax alone.”
“I saw you bolting with that suitcase and chased after you.”
“Oh please. Youve been following me?”
“Hardly. Just unwinding before the wedding.”
“Same. Were you married before?”
“Yeah.”
“Kids?”
“None. You?”
“Divorced. No kids either. Marrying me to spite someone? You didnt even hesitate.”
“Nah. But judging by my looks, *youre* the one spiting someone.”
“Nope.”
“Then why?”
“Tired of italways the handsome blokes, the gym rats. Thought Id try an average Joe for once.”
“Crane operator.”
“Yeah, a crane operator. Speaking of, hows the crane coping without you?”
“Retired.”
“*What?!*”
“Worked in a steel mill. Retired at forty-five.”
“Thank God. I thought Im only thirty-eight.”
“Lydia, youll never regret marrying a simple crane operator.”
“Hope not.”
Ten years later.
“Remember how we met?” Lydia murmured, wrapping her arms around her husband.
“Course!” Geoffrey chuckled.
“Shh, youll wake the boys.”
“I promised you wouldnt regret it. Ever forget to askdid I keep my word?”
“Overdelivered. My mates are green with envy.”
“Well, theyre still out there looking for love…”
“As they should. Were not exactly conventional.”
“Who cares? Long as were happy. Thats what matters.”
