**Diary Entry 12th October**
*”Youre the reason I dont have a family!”* Emily shouted, snatching up her coat before storming out of the flat.
*”Aunt Margaret, have you ever regretted not having children?”* she had asked abruptly, setting down her half-finished cup of tea.
Margaret startled at the question. Her niece had visited after months of silence, their conversation politework, the weatheruntil this sudden turn.
*”What a strange thing to ask, Emily,”* she replied carefully, smoothing the lace doily on the side table. *”Life unfolds as it does. Not everyone must be a mother.”*
*”But doesnt it make you sad? Living alone”* Emily studied her aunts face, every wrinkle, as if searching for answers.
Margaret gave an uneasy laugh. Outside, a damp October drizzle fell, but the flat was warm, tidyalways tidy when family visited. Not that there was much family leftjust Emily, her late brothers daughter.
*”Why do you ask? Are things alright with James?”* Margaret steered the conversation toward her nieces three-year relationship, hoping for wedding news.
*”James and I split up,”* Emily said sharply, turning to the window. *”A month ago.”*
*”Oh, love! Why didnt you tell me? I couldve”*
*”Couldve what?”* Emily spun around. *”Pitied me? Said plenty more fish in the sea?”*
Her voice held a bitterness Margaret had never heard. Emily had always been gentlequiet as a girl, studious at university, now a successful accountant. Margaret had been proud.
*”Emily, whats got into you? Youre not yourself today.”*
*”Not myself?”* She stood, pacing like a caged animal. *”What should I be? Smiling, pretending everythings fine? Im thirty-two with no life to speak of!”*
Margaret watched, bewildered, as Emily stopped at the old dresser, picking up a photo of them togethera little girl and her then-young aunt.
*”I was seven when Mum and Dad died in that crash,”* Emily said quietly. *”Remember when I came to live with you?”*
*”Of course, love. We got through it together.”* Margaret stood, reaching for her, but Emily stepped away.
*”Got through it? I didnt understand then. I thought it was temporarythat theyd come back.”*
*”Emily, why bring this up now? We talked about it”*
*”We never talked! You decided for me! That Id live here, that it was best!”*
Margarets chest tightened. Had Emily forgotten how hard it had been? Twenty-eight, freshly divorced, her career in tattersthen a child to raise.
*”Emily, I was young too. I did my best”*
*”Your best?”* She laughed harshly. *”You locked me in this flat! No clubs, no friendsjust school and home!”*
*”Thats not true! You had friends at school”*
*”What friends? Youd say: Why bother with people? Stay home, its safer. My drama club? A waste of time. Dancing? Money down the drain.”*
Margaret sank into her chair. Shed thought she was protecting herfrom bad influences, from trouble.
*”I wanted to keep you safe”*
*”Safe from what? Life? People? Learning how to live?”* Emily set the photo down. *”You made me just like youclosed off, afraid of everything!”*
The words stung. Margaret had always prided herself on being cautious, not cowardly.
*”Emily, I know youre upset about James”*
*”This isnt about James!”* Emily nearly shouted. *”Hes the fourth one! Fourth! And dyou know why? Because I cant be open. At the first sign of trouble, I hidelike you taught me!”*
Margarets throat tightened.
*”And you know what he said when he left? Youre like a ghost. Work, telly, sleep. No passion, no fire. You dont even want sexjust to be left alone.”*
*”Emily!”* Margaret flushedsuch bluntness unsettled her.
*”Whattoo honest? Well, try living it! All my friends are married with kids. And me? Alone every night wondering whats wrong with me.”*
*”Nothings wrong”*
*”Everythings wrong! Im following your pathyour loneliness!”*
*”My path?”*
*”Yes! You were never happy, not even with Uncle David. Too scared to speak up, to fight for yourself. And now Im the same!”*
Margaret clenched her fists. Her failed marriageDavids coldness, her silent tearshad been private pain. How could Emily understand?
*”You dont know what it was like”*
*”I do! I heard him shout. Saw you cry. And when he left for that secretary, you didnt even fight!”*
*”Why fight someone who wants to leave?”*
*”Exactly! You gave up. And taught me to do the sameto shrink, to obey!”*
Emily paced again, restless.
*”And now I see ityou didnt raise me as a daughter. You raised me as a companion for your old age.”*
Margaret flinched. The truth, unspoken for decades, now laid bare.
*”You were afraid to be alone. So you made sure Id stay.”*
*”Thats not”*
*”Admit it! When I mentioned a boyfriend, were you ever happy? Or just scared Id leave?”*
Silence.
*”Thats what I thought,”* Emily whispered. *”So now what? How do I fix this?”*
*”You cant,”* Emily said, hugging her knees. *”The damage is done. Im in therapyhave been for months. And you know what they say? I need to cut ties. Live separately. Stop asking your permission for everything.”*
Margarets heart lurched. Live without Emily?
*”But were family”*
*”Family?”* Emily sighed. *”Family lifts you up. Doesnt trap you.”*
She stood, grabbing her coat.
*”Im leaving. I need space. My own place.”*
*”But why waste money? Youve a room here”*
*”Youre still not listening!”* Emily snapped. *”I need to learn to live without you!”*
At the door, she paused.
*”And this flat? When youre gone, Ill donate it. To charity. I dont want it.”*
*”Emily! Its your inheritance!”*
*”No. Its payment for my silence. For the life you stole.”* Her voice broke. *”Youre why Im alone. And I wont take a single brick of this prison.”*
The door slammed. Margaret sat in the dim flat, the rain tapping softly against the glass.
*Lesson learned too late: Love shouldnt be a chain.*
