“You should’ve married Valerie! Shes so well-kept, slim, and younger than you. Im still in my prime, and my wifes already old”
“Why on earth are you bringing up Valerie Simmons? Seen her somewhere? Shed never want you nowshe married that colonel and lives like a queen.”
Rachel was frying pancakes for her husbands breakfast. He loved them. Hed wake up any minute, and theyd be readyhot, with a dollop of cream.
“Rae! Where are my trousers?”
Awake already. Rachel set the pan aside and walked to the bedroom where he was shouting.
“Nick, I put them in the washthey were filthy. Here, wear these instead.”
“Filthy? When did I even get them dirty? You always take things without asking!”
“Well, I wont take them next timeyou can wear dirty clothes for a month! Just stop. Here, clean ones”
“Ugh! I hate thesetheyre tight and uncomfortable! Hurry up and wash my proper ones!”
“I *am* washing them, stop shouting. Go wash up and eat, the pancakes are on the table.”
Nicholas stormed off to the bathroom. Rachel poured his tea, adding two sugars just as he liked, and set out a bowl of cream.
“Ugh, stinking the place out with your greasy pancakes! Got nothing better to do?”
“I made them for *you*, Nick. Whats got into you? Wrong side of the bed?”
Nicholas ate in silence.
“Teas scalding! Couldnt let it cool? Blimey, burnt my tongue! And these pancakes are rubberytasteless! Shouldve made bacon sandwiches instead. Keep this slop for yourself!”
“Dont be daft, theyre perfect, same as always. Eat upyou dont need more sandwiches, your bellys big enough as it is”
“Oh, now my bellys the problem? Look whos talking! Whens the last time *you* checked the mirror? Let yourself go completely! And your grey rootswhy not dye them? Look like an old hag.”
Rachel stared, stunned. Hed *never* spoken to her like this. What had gotten into him?
“Nick, watch your mouth! Ive always been curvyonly just noticed now, have you? And Im *not* dyeing my hairyou know Im allergic. Health comes first. Im not a spring chicken anymore, lovepushing seventy.”
“Your bellys from all that lager you drink. I cook healthy meals for you! Exercise more instead of glued to the telly all day.”
“Shouldve married Valerie! Shes kept herself upslim, younger. Im still full of life, and look what Im stuck with”
“Why bring up Valerie? Seen her lately? Shed laugh in your faceliving the high life with her colonel. No kids, no worries, spoiled rotten. Meanwhile, we raised our Davidsuccessful, helps us out, gave us grandkids. Whatve we got to complain about?”
“Like *youd* know! Valerie fancied me once, threw herself at me”
“When? Pull the other one!”
“Back then Happened, alright.”
“And whatd you say?”
“What dyou think? Im a bloke. Couldnt hurt her feelings. She was gorgeous. Not like *you*.”
“Mum warned meDont marry Rachel, shes plain and older. Shouldve listened. Now Im stuck with a frumpy old nag who cant even make a decent sandwich!”
“Well, let *Valerie* make your sandwiches then! Couldnt say no, could you? Led you on, did she?”
“Whyve you stayed with me all these years if Im such a burden? Im only *three* years older!”
“Dunno. Retired now and realised my mistake. Youre dull. So many women fancied me But I came home to *you*, to our son. And you never appreciated it!”
“*Never* appreciated you? Everything for you and DavidI went without so youd have enough. When did I ever ask for money? Look at your wardrobemines all cheap stuff. Saved up for *your* car, *your* fishing gear, *your* inflatable boatjust gathering dust now! Did I ever complain?”
“Like you ever bought us anything! And your cookings vile. Nothing like MumsGod rest her.”
“Nick, was it really *that* bad with me all these years? Not a single kind word todaywhats *wrong* with you? Youre vile! Are you ill?”
“Youre the one whos ill! Sod thisIm watching the news. And another thingthere was Tamara too. Long time ago, but there. Youd gone to your mums”
“Oh, Tamara was *proper* fiery, wasnt she? Not like you. Always illpills, clutching your chest. What a prize I landed”
Rachel untied her apron and walked out. She couldnt breathe. Her chest ached.
So hed strayed. And she never knew. Thought they were happy. Married for love, vows, decades togetherand now this. A *bad* wife, apparently. How dyou come back from that?
*He* proposed. Got on one knee. Shed loved him all her life, bent over backwardsand he *had* loved her, even if hed stopped saying it. But never *cruel* like this.
“Tamara *Valerie* How could he?”
Rachel had never let anyone close, though men had tried. A colleague once. Even an old school flame reappeared at thirty-five*”Still love you, leave your husband, Ill take your boy too.”* Shed sent him packing!
And her cooking? David and Nick *devoured* her pancakes, pies, stews. How could he say that *now*?
“Nick I did *everything* for you”
Wandering the streets, she barely noticed the burning in her chest. Salt tears streaked her face. His words cut deep. Liar. Cheat.
Meanwhile, Nicholas sat watching telly, shovelling pancakes and sandwiches, gulping hot tea.
In a foul mood. Bad dreamRachel leaving on a train, laughing as it pulled away. Woke up furious. And *hurt*.
So hed taken it out on her. Head pounding from last nights pintsMike kept topping him up. Now this rage. Maybe she was rightgot out the wrong side of the bed.
A sharp knock at the window. He rushed to the door. Neighbour Diane stood there, pale.
“Nickits Rachel *Hurry!*”
“What? Whats happened?”
“Just *come*!”
He grabbed his shirt and ran after her, front door swinging open.
“Diane, *what*? Tell me!”
“Youll see”
She led him to the park nearby. An ambulance waited.
“That womanare you her husband?” the medic asked. “Im sorry. Shes gone. By the time we arrived”
“*Gone?* But sheher heart She was on medication”
“Any stress today? Anything trigger it?”
“She was *fine*.”
“Well need an autopsy. Leave your number”
Nicholas woke at home. No memory of returning. No Diane. No Rachel.
*Gone*. And *his* fault.
Whyd he said those things? *Why?* Thered *been* no other womennever even looked!
Loved only *her*. Plump, grey, in her floral apron. Warm. *His*. Loved herjust never said.
How would he live without her? Lies, *all* liesher cooking was sublime, their son wonderful, their life *good*.
How could his words kill her? Knew her heart was weak but never
Womens hearts break so easily. When had he last said something kind? Couldnt recall.
Yet shed always smiled, encouraged him, cooked, cleaned, *cared*.
What had he done? Burned their whole life down with spite.
And that stupid dream One thing led to another. Whatd he tell David? The grandkids? How to go on?
His big mouth had ruined everything.
Nicholas paced like a madman. Too late now. Rachel was *gone*. His Rachel
Shed wanted to see the seanever been. Wanted a cruise. Wanted to dance at the grandkids weddings. Now never would. *His fault.*
Sobbing, he collapsed onto the bed.
“Nick! Wake up! Lunch is readysleeping half the day!”
He blinked. Rachel stood over him. Rubbed his eyes. Still there.
“Rae*you*?”
“Who else? Nick,
