**Sea of Doubts**
It was already dark, the rain had stopped, and in the window, Helen saw her blurred reflectiona woman with a tangled soul. For months, shed been torn between two men. Between duty and passion. Between the past and the future.
The firstDaniel, her husband. With him, it was safe, warm, familiar. Over six years together, hed built a cosy, solid fortress around her. The second In her mind, she only called him “the boy.” He was younger, and in that word lay all the overwhelming, frightening tenderness she was afraid to set free, even in her own thoughts.
Daniel had been introduced by friends.
After a humiliating breakup with her school sweetheart, whod chosen her best friend instead, Helen had shut herself off, swearing off relationships. Shed convinced herself she was doomed to be a background character in other peoples love storiesno grand declarations, no armfuls of roses, no sleepless nights of joyjust a dull, grey routine.
Then, at a party, her friend pointed out Daniel:
“Look, thats the architect I told you about. Clever, ambitious. And most importantlysolid as a rock.”
Daniel looked older than his years, dressed formally, almost old-fashioned. But when he spoke, the world seemed to tilt. He was a brilliant conversationalistwitty, sharp, his jokes precise but never cruel. Within an hour, Helen felt like he saw right through her.
“You, Helen, are like a Pre-Raphaelite painting come to life,” he said as they parted, admiring her face. “Just as distant and sorrowful.”
She had to Google the Pre-Raphaelites and marvel at his knowledge of art history. That was just the beginning. The architect was persistent, and Helen, worn down by loneliness, gave in almost immediately. Two months later, she moved in with him.
Her parents frowned.
“Sweetheart, are you sure?” her mother pressed. “You look at him like a rescued kitten, not a woman in love.”
Helen brushed it off. How could there be any doubt?
Six months later, they married. Daniel crafted a perfect world around hershielding her from chores, worries, any storm. He called her his Princess, himself her Faithful Knight. She thought men like him didnt exist anymore.
“Why should you cook?” hed say, busy in the kitchen. “A womans role is to be happy, to inspire her husband. Relax.”
She revelled in the care, the flawless role in this perfect play. But when she brought up children, imagining what a devoted father hed be, Daniel would gently stop her:
“Lets not rush happiness, Princess. Arent we happy just the two of us?”
Five years passed like that.
The cracks in their peaceful life appeared the day Helen literally collided with a man outside a business centre. Rushing to a presentation, she crashed into someone firm and unyielding.
“Oh, sorry!” she gasped, looking up.
A young man stood there, like someone out of a film. Sun-streaked hair, endless laughing eyes.
“No harm done,” he grinned. “Disaster averted. In a hurry?”
She nodded and sprinted off, feeling his gaze on her back. During her speech, she spotted him in the front row, smiling right at her. His stare made her breath hitch, her voice falter.
He waited for her afterwards.
“You dashed out so fast, I thought you were late again. Need a lift? No collisions this time.”
Always sensible, cautiousshe surprised herself by saying yes.
***
Helen lost her head. Shed forgotten how passion felthow the world shrank to one person, the sound of his voice, his smile. When “How was your day?” became the most beautiful melody.
“I feel like Im seeing clearly when Im with you,” she told him once.
“And I feel like Im breathing properly for the first time in years,” he replied.
His name was Leo. Not “the boy,” of course. Leostrong, fearless. After months of stolen moments, she was ready to leave everything for him.
But
First, her mother fell seriously ill. How could she burden her recovery with divorce news? They waited. Then Daniel slipped, broke his legmonths in a cast. Of course, Helen postponed the difficult conversation. Playing nurse gave her a legitimate excuse.
By the time Daniel, her Knight, still limping with a cane, Helens passion for Leo began cooling, replaced by logic. “Dont rush. Think. Daniel is safety. Hes your home.” But her heart, bruised and desperate, screamed, “Leo!”
Meanwhile, Leo grew impatient, demanding more. One evening, Helen stood at the mirror, fixing her hair before a supposed work meetingreally, Leo waited outside.
Daniel approached, leaning on his cane, and rested a hand on her shoulder.
“You look beautiful today, Princess. Like our first date.”
His voice, brimming with love and trust, shattered her inside.
“Daniel I need to tell you something” she whispered, a chill running down her spine.
“Something important?” He smiled softly. “Well talk tonight. Ill make your favourite roast. Dont be late.”
He kissed her forehead, and it burned like a brand.
Leo waited by his car. She got in, and his hand closed over hers.
“Well? Did you tell him?”
“Sorry I couldnt. Hes still so weak”
Leo slowly let go.
“I get it. Pity. Duty. Gratitude.” Each word hit like a bullet. “But when does our time come? Have you thought about me?”
Helen closed her eyes, her heart splintering.
“Just a little longer, please.”
“Time,” he said bitterly. “We never had it.”
They drove to a hotel in silence. She studied his profile, his tight lips, knowing she was losing him. At home, Daniel waitedblindly trusting, with dinner ready.
She was exhaustedtorn between duty and love, lying, hiding. She had to choose. But who? Why couldnt she decide? What was she afraid of?
At their next meeting, Leo gave her an ultimatum: one month. Then, on Daniels birthday, a text:
“Im waiting. Last chance. Dont comeits over.”
Perfect timing. Her blood ran coldshe couldnt go.
Daniel unwrapped her giftexpensive cufflinks. Then he looked at her, quiet, knowing.
“Thanks, Princess. But I dont need these.”
“Why? You said you liked them.”
“That was a long time ago Back when you looked at me like you look at your phone now, waiting for a message. Who is he?”
Helen froze. He knew. For how long? Oddly, instead of shame, relief washed over her. The mountain of lies had crumbled.
“I didnt want to hurt you, especially after your injury”
“You lied for me?” he cut in, voice harsh. “Fine. Then consider me unhurt. But were done.”
Helen didnt go to Leo straight away.
She sat on a bench outside, smokingthough shed quit years ago. Her hands shook, but inside, a strange calm settled. Everything had collapsed: Daniels perfect world, her role as Princess, the fortress that had become a cage.
Now she was just Helen. Free of secrets. Alone, a little guilty, and terrifyingly lightlike a feather the wind could carry anywhere.
And the wind blew toward Leo.
She reread his message: “Im waiting. Last chance. Dont comeits over.” Once, those words wouldve set her heart racing. Now, only a dull ache remained.
Leo lived in a modern flat across town. The taxi ride was quiet. In the lift, her pulse finally quickened. She imagined him opening the door, pulling her close, his eyes alightfinally, theyd be together.
This was the beginning.
The door opened instantly, as if hed been waiting. But Leo didnt embrace her. He stepped back, gesturing her inside. His face was tired, grim.
“I did it. I told him. Im free. Do you hear me?”
She said it desperately, waiting for relief, joybut he just walked to the window, silent.
“Congratulations.”
No excitement. Just detached sadness.
“Well?” she pressed. “Arent you happy? We waited for this. Nothings in our way now.”
He shook his head slowly. None of his usual energy remained.
“We did wait. But I think, Helen, Ive waited too long.”
He paused, gathering words.
“You say nothings in our way. But your husband was never the problem. You were. Your doubts, your delays, your endless just a little longer. I kept hitting that wall. And you know what? I burned out. Theres nothing left.”
Her lightness faded, replaced by icy dread. This wasnt the script.
“ButI did it! For us! I hurt someone I cared about! You said you loved me!”
Her voice cracked.
“I did love you
